Seriously Exaggerated...(WIP)
by Rachelle Ryan
Summary: What would happen if two of the Resistance’s biggest heroes joined forces? Boone meet Liam. Liam meet Boone. Never let death keep a good man down.
1. Part 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anybody. So please don't sue. I'm broke anyway.  
  
Explanation: I hate season five with the rest of the EFC world but I love that they brought back Boone. The only good thing about the whole season. I started watching EFC because of Liam and I wasn't about to let him stay dead. This story is my way of bringing my two favorite characters back. So everybody welcome back…Liam and Augur. hear applause.  
  
  
  
  
  
Seriously Exaggerated  
  
Augur  
  
I was walking down the beach enjoying the feel the of wind blowing on my face, the smell of the salt, and the way the damp sand felt under my feet. Just reveling in the feelings and smells and sights. Sen-dep had given me a new appreciation in the art of being alive. I was half way around my island when suddenly a strange shiver went up my spine. I never really understood the saying 'my hair stood on end' until that moment.  
  
I turned around and found standing there Ha'gel. I've never really seen Liam's father before but from the descriptions he's given me I could tell that this being of energy had to be him. The fact that he held a limp Liam in his arms was a dead give away too. 'Wait a minute Liam!' I felt my heart jump to my throat he looked half dead, more than half dead he looked dead dead. Ha'gel gently laid Liam down on the sand. I couldn't stop myself I rushed over to his prone form and took his head in my hands. I could feel my heart trying to escape my chest. 'Liam's all I have left, Lili's dead, Boone's dead, my family's all dead, I can't lose him too! Liam hasn't even seen his fifth birthday yet its not fair!'  
  
I had forgotten that Ha'gel was there until he decided to speak up. "You will take care of him." Startled I looked up at him. It wasn't a request it was a statement of fact. It didn't matter I could never leave Liam like this. "He is very weak. I was forced to give him back what he had forsaken to save his life. I could not let him die. He is my son. He still may not live, he would have died, he should have died, if I had not interfered... I must go now." One moment he was there then I blinked and he was gone.  
  
Then the feel of Liam's feverish forehead in my hands drove all thoughts aside except to get Liam in to the house. I scrambled to my feet grabbing him under the arms. I grunted with the effort. "Kid, you need to lose some weight." I was trying to hide my fear from myself. I was scared to death. The thought of Liam dying was making me shake. He is all I have.  
  
Two months later  
  
After two months of taking care of Liam he was finally stable. When I got him into my house and ran him under the med scanner I was shocked that the 30-foot drag hadn't killed him. Almost every bone in his body was fractured and all of his systems were in various stages of shut down. Even though I don't believe in the big guy I started praising God that he had made me so paranoid that even though I was no longer fighting and I was in a virtually invisible hideout that I still had a fully equipped med lab.  
  
Liam was touch and go for two months. I was afraid to even leave him alone for fear that he'd go into convulsions. He did three times and only the fact that he's not totally human saved his life. Liam even with the danger that he was in would never of lived if he was human.  
  
Slouched over a cup of coffee in the kitchen I was trying to keep my eyes open. Kary had just delivered some news of the outside world and I was still trying to get over the shock that the Taleons were gone. 'I wonder if Liam's condition had anything to do with it.' Sighing I picked up the once hot cup of coffee and took a sip. I grimacing at the taste I kept on drinking, I didn't want to bother making a fresh pot.  
  
My only contact with the outside world, Kary, brings me news every couple of months which sometimes is nowhere soon enough. The news of the Taleons being gone would have caused me to do a happy dance only two months ago but now even though it did give me some pleasure the news just wasn't as important as it would have been.  
  
The reason was laying in the adjoining room in a coma. Even though the Taleons are gone life for Liam is still going to be hard. He has no past to go back to, no family, no life really Liam's spent every moment of his life fighting since day one. What does a person who had to make up a lie to explain his very existence do when the reason for living is gone? What if the real Kincaid wanted his name back? What would Liam do? It maybe selfish but I care too much to just let go of him. So I've spent two months coaxing Liam back to health but I can't help wonder what he's going to do now.  
  
A rustling sound came for Liam's room and before I knew it I was out of my seat and flying towards his bed. As I reached the side of his bed I saw that his eyelids were fluttering. After all the waiting when he opened his eyes I felt my heart squeeze. They were clouded and seemed disoriented. I knew his body had survived what ever happened to him but would his mind? When the words, "Augur you look like hell," came out of his mouth I couldn't control myself I let out a whoop of excitement. He was going to be just fine.  
  
Liam  
  
I was pushing my through a darkness, it wanted to wrap around me and banish the worries and cares of the world into its depths. I was tempted, seriously tempted to just relax and let the darkness cover me back up in its comforting nothingness but I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something I should be doing, something important. So I struggled against the darkness that wanted to claim me. My eyes felt like they were made of lead and weighed 5 tons. It took a supreme effort just to open them. The first thing I noticed when I finally pried them open was a very worried looking Augur. I had never seen his clothes so disheveled and haphazardly worn, he had a three day beard another never, and he had bags under his eyes. I blurted out, "Augur you look like hell," before I knew what I was doing. Boy was I surprised when he didn't take offense instead he let out a loud yell of what sounded like joy. He then started doing a little dance.  
  
That's when I tried to move to see if Augur was okay and almost fainted from the pain. I felt like a thousand knives were being driven through every part of my body. I think I cried out but I'm not sure. Augur sure did rush to my side in a hurry if I didn't. I hadn't seen him this worried since Lili went missing.  
  
"Take it easy kid." Augur was very serious now his face was very sober. "You've been in a coma for two months." My mind was spinning 'two months!'  
  
Vocalizing my thought I croaked, "Two months?" Augur nodded. My mind racing I took in the room that I was in trying to distract myself from this revelation. That's when what happened caught up with me. 'Oh, god.' I remembered how I was the last hope for the Taleons and the Jaridains. How it all went wrong. Zo'or got his revenge after all. Zo'or's death caused the process to malfunction by contaminating the energy pool. Instead of new life that would survive the Jaridains and the Taleons were turned into Atavas. A new type of Atavas not like the creature that Da'an turned into when he was cut of from the Commonality, one not so instinctual and beastly but one with more sentience. I remember how suddenly the chamber had started sucking the life out of me. It began to literally pulling me apart. I could feel my insides trying to become my outsides. Shuddering at the memory I could feel the pain following in the wake of just that small movement.  
  
Augur was watching me like a hawk and brought me some water. I smiled gratefully at him and he smiled back relieved. "You scared the crap out of me you know that right?" I just stared at him. Augur isn't one to voice his feelings unless they're indignation or arrogance, he seemed sort of nervous like he was afraid I'd reject him. I have personal knowledge of rejection and I got to say I hope that I never inflect that pain on anyone.  
  
I grabbed Augur's hand surprised again at how much effort I had to put in to every simple movement. "I'm alright now Augur." The world was starting to get vague and distant, I yawned. "I think I'll go back to sleep now."  
  
The last thing I heard was Augur softly saying, "Just make sure you wake up a little sooner this time kid, okay?" I had a great come back all ready for him on the tip of my lips and then the dream realm claimed me once more.  
  
Augur  
  
When Liam opened his eyes and told me how terrible I looked I felt like I was on the top of the world. He had insulted me but hell he was alive. I was still worried about him though. No one else would probably notice but that kid was in so much pain it could sink an elephant. I practically raised him and I could tell that just twitching caused him more pain than I could handle. The stiffness in the way Liam was lying, the way his hand shook when he grabbed mine told the whole story even though Liam is a great actor. He had to be to survive but I taught him most of those skills and I can read him about as well as he can read me.  
  
I didn't tell him about the Taleons being gone. I should have but I have the feeling he already knows. Or maybe I'm just trying to assuage my conscience telling myself I don't have to tell him. Oh, well only time will tell me if I'm lying to myself.  
  
Liam  
  
It felt like I had just laid my head on my pillow when I woke up in a cold sweat, shaking, and my heart racing. Dreams have plagued me since the day that I was born, more accurately nightmares. I guess that having everyone out to kill me for one reason or another either for being in the Resistance or being not totally human my whole life is a good reason to have insomnia. I've never told any one about these dreams. I'm scared of what people might think. I'm ashamed of how venerable they make me feel, how helpless.  
  
Sometimes I feel like a little kid dressed up in his parent's clothes pretending to be a grown up only I can't take off the disguise and no one can see through it to see how much I just wish I could be that child that I never was. After a nightmare is one of these times. Tonight's was a rerun of one of my more persistent horrors; one where Sandoval follows through with his threat and has me implanted with a full CVI and I betray what little there is left of the Resistance and my friends. I watch helpless trapped in my own body as I help hunt down those I would protect. Sandoval may not know he's my father doesn't stop the hurt because I know. 'He may be dead now.'  
  
My life has been ruled by fear, fear of being discovered, fear for my life, fear of my father, fear for my father, fear of Zo'or, fear of Doors, fear of myself. I don't know if I'll ever live without fear but I tired of living this way constantly on the alert watching my back. Remembering the Taleons death and the look on Augur's face when he realized that I was okay I found that I couldn't think of a better time than here and now to find out.  
  
I always had an easier time accessing my mother's memories than Ha'gel or Sandoval and I had a flash to when she was a kid. To banish the night terrors she used to hide under the covers thinking that the bad things couldn't find her that way. 'Maybe it will work with adults too.' Pulling the quilt that Augur had draped over me when I fell asleep over my head I wished that I could hide from the world this easily.  
  
  
  
Augur  
  
Liam passed out on his bed about a half hour ago. He was so tired he didn't even take off his clothes. I had to sneak into his room to take his shoes off and covered him with a blanket. Liam's got to be the most stubborn person I know and I thought that Lili took the cake, that's got to be where he got it from I sure as hell didn't teach it to him. Makes me love her all the more. He won't give up no matter how much it hurts the pain would be too much for most people, they would just give up. Atrophy has made it hard for Liam to even stand for extended periods of time. The therapy to get his muscles working again is basically pure torture. He works out in the weight room every day for 6 hours with a determination that makes me proud. Afterwards he's so tired he can barely keep his eyes open. I feel like a mother hen always hovering and worrying that he's going to strain himself to hard or hurt himself trying to get better too fast but I'm so proud at the same time. A real mother hen.  
  
I know Renee thinks I'm in the Bahamas but all the people that want to hide go there either that or Borneo. The truth is that I bought my own island off this survival nut that thought that after the Taleons arrived he wouldn't need his own private bunker any more. Yeah, right. The island is in a dead zone, which is one of those really, really rare zones that have conflicting polarities that negate sensors. It's virtually invisible unless you go out and look for it with your own eyes and even then it's nearly impossible to find. Nothing gets into its zone and nothing can get out. It's a little drastic for me but after the Sen-Dep not having a working telephone doesn't seem like such a big deal. Haven is a tiny island not worth anything except to a person like me and it's not on any maps. Seems some where along the line it got miss-placed and never found again.  
  
I had to make some modifications and upgrades because Mr. Survival wasn't too big on creature comfort and technology took a major leap forward after the Taleons came but otherwise the place was perfect. I had to hire my own personal mail deliverywoman to get information on what happens on the outside world but hey that's the price of isolation.  
  
Kary's due to arrive any minute now with reports on what is happening outside. I hired her on the recommendation from a reliable source and so far she has been working out fine. She's an ex-Liberation fighter who quit when she found out she was pregnant. Kary still believed that the Taleons we're up to no good but she didn't want to put her baby at risk. She lives on the main land and travels out here every month or so under the guise of visiting the baby's father for child support.  
  
Right on cue I hear the sound of an outboard engine. Smiling I walk out to greet the only visitor that I get. Baring the occasional alien being dropping in. 'Maybe I can get her to stick around for a while this time.' She isn't really my type but it is fun flirting with her. 'She sure knows how to throw a come back.' The boat was still quite a bit out when I noticed that she wasn't alone this time. I couldn't make out faces from this distance but I can tell the other person with her is male. 'Oh, no. I have a bad feeling about this.'  
  
Liam  
  
A noise like a persistent buzzing fly was the first thing that I heard the instant I woke up. I may never have really been a Major in the SI war but I still have the memories, the instincts, and the abilities of two highly skilled professional soldiers and even that little bit of noise was enough to wake me from my slumber. Doing anything about it was another story. It took a lot of effort to get to my feet when not too long ago I could have done it in seconds now it took minutes and more energy than I thought possible. When on my feet the world seemed to swirl for a moment before I ordered it to settle down. I heard Augur move in the kitchen, which has seemed to become his permanent residence of late. He was out the door and on his was to the dock before I had gotten the three steps to the stand that held my gun. Not really my gun, my gun went the way of the do-do along with the Taleons and the Jaridains. No this gun is a loner from Augur, he kept it around in cause of an emergency but when I asked for a weapon he gave it to me. I felt uncomfortable without a gun at my side. My whole life I have never been unarmed or with out a weapon in arms reach other than the first few hours after my birth. There are a lot of nevers in my life.  
  
I was thinking about it earlier sitting in Augur's workout room. 'Boy did that surprise me.' I was resting after an exercise and I realized that I had had enough. I had spent all of my life alone. Never really close to any one, I was always the outsider. I never figured I'd live to see the end of the conflict. With all the times that I've almost been killed by my father, by Zo'or, by Doors, by other people fighting the Taleons, by Jaridain replicates, by Jaridains, by everybody and anybody with a gun and a hankering for power. Now the Taleons and the Jaridains are gone and I was more alone than ever. Before I had a purpose, a reason to wake up in the morning. I had nothing now because I never had the chance to have a life. I just borrowed life from my parents. I had never played catch, never made a snowman, never even had a vacation, and I was just so sick of it. I wanted to just live for a while find out who the hell Liam really is because I'm not to sure that he really exists. And I think the best place to start is with my friendship with Augur. He was my first friend now my only friend. Augur had introduced me to a lot of firsts, only laughing occasionally.  
  
Weakness is not something that I'm used to. Helplessness, fear, yes but not weakness. It scares me more than death. I always figured I'd wouldn't grow old but when I went I'd go kicking and screaming lately I don't think I could even mange the screaming. Still I can't leave Augur to fend for himself, he's no fighter. I got to the door by sheer will power to see Augur watching a boat come to the dock. I'd go out to him but I think I'd fall straight on my face, better to just stay here where I can lean on the doorway for support. Augur looks agitated, I guess that's better than scared but I still can't leave incase there's trouble. My serve and protect instinct is too strong besides Augur's the only family I have left.  
  
Augur  
  
'What the hell is Kary thinking?' Wanting for her to dock I just couldn't get over the fact that she'd brought some one to the island. I headed over to the dock scowling. She greeted me with her usual chipper smile while whoever she had brought stayed with the boat. Grinning she said with absolutely no shame, "How's the kid Augur?"  
  
"He's getting better. I still think he's pushing it too hard but he won't give up. Kary what do you think you're doing?"  
  
"Oh lighten up Augur. I found him asking around for you in town and I knew you'd want to see him." She had a smug smile on her face. She beaconed to the figure puttering around the boat totally ignoring my disapproval. When I saw the face of our uninvited guest I stepped back in shock. 'Oh, my God!' I felt my knees giving out beneath me. 'This isn't possible!'  
  
"Hello Augur." I felt my mouth opening and closing but no sound came out. I couldn't believe my eyes. Kary just smiled at my disbelief.  
  
"I had a hard time believing it too at first Augur but it's really Boone."  
  
Liam  
  
I saw Augur stagger away from who ever was with Kary. I felt adrenaline pump through my body. It wasn't nearly enough but it was a start. I started making my way over to the docks. My vision was blurry and I couldn't make out faces or details but I could tell Augur was in shock. That was enough for me. He was in danger and I had to protect him. I was able to get myself over to where they were standing. I leveled my gun at who ever had found Augur's hideaway trying to keep it steady even though I barely had the energy to raise my arm. Now that I was closer I could make out Kary's face, though it was looking through a tunnel, she had a shocked expression on her normally cheerful face. I turned my gaze to the intruder. It took a moment for my eyes to refocus. My eyes widened in disbelief. It couldn't be him. He's dead. Neither less I lowered my gun. 'Doesn't anybody stay dead anymore.' Then I just ran out of energy and the world went black.  
  
Boone  
  
When I went looking for Augur I never thought it would be as hard as it turned out to find him. Still I couldn't give up not with most of the world thinking that Renee and I are off our rockers. Our movement needs all of the help we can get and Augur is the best hacker on the planet. I was lucky that Kary knew me from her Liberation days otherwise I have a feeling I would still be looking for him. When I put out feelers asking about Augur she came forward cautiously to find out who was looking. I remember the shocked look on her face when she found out it was me who was looking. It seems that everybody believed that I was dead. Everybody. So when Augur started freaking I kind of expected it what I hadn't expected was what came next.  
  
It took me a while after I came back from where ever the hell I was to adjust to what had happened while I was gone. But the one thing that threw me through the biggest loop was how the leadership of the Liberation/Resistance had changed. I never imagined Doors ever letting go of leading the Resistance. Doors was a power hungry man and I had a hard time imagining it. I had an even harder time coming to terms with Door's replacement, Major Liam Kincaid. Not the Liam I had known but instead an hybrid who had taken on Major Kincaid's identity to infiltrate the Taelons. Not only that but he was the son of the alien that had almost killed me. What amazed me wasn't all of these. No, what amazed me was the fact that most of the Resistance hadn't known about them, they knew there were huge gaps in the past about Liam and that he wasn't the real Kincaid, but they trusted him any way. The man had collected trust like most people collected debt.  
  
Renee told me he was dead. That he died in that volcanic Atavaus pit under the ocean. The way she talked about him made me kind of jealous until I found he was definitely no longer competition. I think she was half in love with him. I got some more facts from the other ex-Resistance people working with us to elaborate her story and the way they talked about him was even more awestruck. The Major, that's what most of them called him. One rather giggly girl explained it to me, she said, "Oh, of course we know he's not a real Major. giggle The thing is no one could bring themselves to call him Liam. giggle We'd only do it if asked. He was such a dish giggle and well, I remember this one time giggle he had Sandoval chasing this false Resistance trail for hours going around in circles. giggle It's just that he was so grand and so…so… We just couldn't bring ourselves to call him Liam." Even though her answers sometimes wandered off into "The Major's" exploits I got the jest of it from her and everyone else. He was respected, more than Doors ever was. People feared Doors they didn't respect him. That old buzzard is dead too. Seems like everyone up and died lately, even me.  
  
I feel like Alice. I've fallen down the rabbit hole and I have no idea what is going to happen next. After all the dead just don't want to stay planted anymore. I should know. One presumed dead man carrying another presumed dead man, what a pair. The Major is a lot lighter than I expected and he looks a lot worse for the wear than he did in all those holos. Augur looks worried and Kary's frowning. I wonder what the man went through and how he survived. Somehow I have a feeling that it's going to be an interesting story. 


	2. Part 2

Augur  
  
I left Kary yelling at Boone for upsetting Liam. She sure did take to the kid. `Must be that whole bird with a broken wing routine.' As always Liam hadn't noticed her attentions. I sighed. Liam. With the help of Boone I was able to get Liam into the med-bay. The monitors showed that Liam had just suffered from a lack of energy and fainted. I slight smile played on my lips. The great Resistance Leader/Companion Protector had fainted. Then I thought about all his injuries and how bad off he had to be to faint. It made me face once again what terrible shape Liam was in. How fragile he really was. I couldn't leave him; I didn't want to leave him. I held onto his hand, making sure he wouldn't disappear. Even in the shape he was in he had come to my rescue. He' got to be the most selfless person I ever met. I looked down on my friend's peaceful face and thought about the friend in the next room. Part of me wanted to grab Boone up in big hug and another part was wary of his sudden  
return. My memories of Lazarus still haunt me sometimes. Yet this time he seemed to be the genuine article, no Taleon energy left to run another clone.  
  
The noise had quieted down and I knew without turning that Boone hadn't waited for me to come out he had come in. I felt a mixture of relief and anger; relief that I wouldn't have to leave Liam and anger at Boone for coming where he wasn't invited. It was irrational since I was still thanking God that he was alive but I felt defensive with Boone here. I worked hard to get past what had happened to me and I had worked hard to help Liam. Now Boone comes along and he's threatening everything I've worked for. I feel selfish but there it was. I didn't know why he had come but I knew that it wasn't for a social call. Or maybe it was. My mind racing I considered the world today. Everyone that Boone knew was dead or gone. Lili was dead, Belman was missing she'd reportedly disappeared into the woodwork, a lot of the last of the Liberation people had been rounded up when the Taelons declared Martial Law, and even Doors had kicked the bucket. The original members of the Liberation were  
gone and I was the only one left that still remembered his world. Maybe Boone just didn't want to feel alone. I understand that feeling. One of my reasons for joining the Liberation in the first place was not wanting to feel alone. Hackers are usually alone because of the nature of their work. We can't trust easily. My try at partnership hadn't worked out well and I saw the Liberation as a way to relieve my loneliness and as a way to make up for the things I had done. So maybe my fears were unfounded, maybe he wasn't here to drag the both of us back into that world that I thought had disappeared with the Taelons deaths. But then if there was no new threat to fight how was he standing behind me? There was no way he had been underground all these years. Where had he been and what had brought him back?  
  
Boone was still silent. He was like that. He was waiting for me to open up the conversation. I knew I was being petty but I didn't want to be the one to give in first.  
  
Boone  
  
I know Augur. Or at least I knew him. Still in all my memories of the master hacker he never acted protective of anything other than his own hide. Yet I can see in the way he watches the Major. The way he holds onto him trying to reassure himself that his friend wasn't going to disappear that he would do anything to protect him. I can't help but think of all of the men I have cared for similarly. The boys who grew into men under gunfire and my command. I remember sitting at the side of so many hospital beds waiting for my men to open their eyes and say something, anything, just so I would know that they were still with me. That I hadn't let down another one.  
  
Augur still hasn't said anything. I know he knows I'm here. I didn't want to be the first one to talk. Too much time has gone by and I had no idea what to say. So instead I turned my attention on the man I had heard all about but never really met.  
  
The Major...I couldn't help but follow the Resistance's lead. I couldn't call him Liam, I don't know him, and I couldn't call him Kincaid, not when I had known the real McCoy. He looks young, so young. Young and gaunt like he has been stretched too thin. There were dark purple smudges under his eyes and basically he looked like death warmed over. Which I suppose in a way he is.  
  
The questions were starting to build up and the silence was getting more and more heavy. Finally I knew I had no choice I had to break the ice. I wracked my brain trying to come up with something to say, something that wouldn't sound trite or stupid. Nothing came to mind. "How are you Augur?" Mentally I grimaced. `Oh now those were heart warming words.'  
  
Augur shook his head not turning around. "According to some I look like hell." I could hear the affection in his voice and I would bet my life that the Major was the one that had said those words. He sighed. "Why are you here Boone?"  
  
"I'm here because you're here Augur." Augur finally turned around. The openness in his face surprised me. Augur was flashy and outspoken, never letting anyone see how he really felt. At least he used to be that way but not anymore. He had changed. Life had changed him. I could see it in his eyes. The fact that even the familiar things from my life had changed was a blow. It was like the last leg had been kicked out from under me. Rationally I knew that time changes people but I never expected Augur to change. I expected to find him exactly as I remembered. Clearly I was wrong. I felt heavy like the weight of the world had settled back on my shoulders. I had been expecting it to be like old times and instead once again the fact that I had missed out on the last few years was thrown back in my face.  
  
"Don't snowball me Boone."  
  
I sighed. "I'm not snowballing you Augur." I glanced at the still sleeping Major. "Why don't we talk in the other room?"  
  
Augur glanced back at him also hesitating but he nodded. He dropped the Major's hand and stiffly rose. He gestured to the door. "After you Boone." As I walked through the threshold I glanced once more back at the Major lying in his bed and Augur standing beside him. In my heart I had been expecting to find my friend and pick up exactly where I'd left off. Everything I knew was gone. My sister, my allies, even my enemies and now... Well at least Augur wasn't dead. The dead definitely don't change and while that may have been in a way what I wanted, my friend unchanged, I would really rather have a live Augur than a dead one. After all even if he wasn't the old Augur I remembered he was still Augur. We had become friends once, we could do it again. 


	3. Part 3

Augur  
  
Kary was sitting in the kitchen drinking lord knows what when we came in but she took one look at our faces and ran for cover. I couldn't blame her. I had a feeling that whatever was going to go down would either end up with things being broken or with us both crying like babies. Not a pretty sight either way. I grabbed the coffee pot on the way to the table along with two mugs. I figured we'd both need the distracters plus I needed something to calm my nerves. Silence prevailed as I poured us both a cup. It was my turn to play the envoy. The one thing that had been racing through my mind since I saw Boone was Lazarus and how Boone had managed his reappearing act this time. ` Well we've got to start somewhere.' Twirling my mug around staring straight at Boone I asked, "What does Lazarus mean to you Boone?"  
  
He looked startled for a moment, probably wondering where the heck I'd gotten that one.  
  
"There is the legend of Lazarus Long who came back from the dead." Awareness seemed to seep into his face. He thought he knew why I brought it up. `Wrong buster.'   
  
I let out a sigh. Sitting back cradling my mug in my hands I regarded him evenly. I had to tell him the whole horror story of Lazarus; he had the right to know and it definitely was a place to start. "Not long after you died Boone...Well after you supposedly died. I was put through one of Zo'or's fun little experiments. I was caught trying to get some information about virtual glass in Russia and had a choice of a noose or "volunteering". Some choice, huh? The man who collected me from the prison and was with me through out my whole "enhancement" was Lazarus. He was Zo'or's pride and joy, the finished product. You see this experiment was the enhancing of humans to make them killing machines to use against the Jaridains and not too many survived the process. Lazarus was the perfect little solider for Zo'or until he met Da'an. You see, part of the process in that experiment was the reprogramming of your brain to get rid of your past and make you devoted to fighting the  
Jaridains. I know from experience that it takes a strong memory to break through the programming. And Da'an was a powerful reminder to Lazarus of his past. Lazarus remembered who he had been and he helped Liam free me from my programming. Before he left to kill Zo'or for all that he had done to him Lazarus told me that it was good to see me again." I leaned forward now. Boone looked confused. Couldn't blame him. Still the big finale was coming up. Quieter now I continued. "It took me a couple of days to figure it out. But when I did it was so obvious. The way he moved, the way he talked, and the way he knew both me and Da'an..." I had to stop to swallow my hatred for that bastard Zo'or. "He was you. Lazarus was you. They took your brain patterns and put them in another body. Zo'or wasn't satisfied with killing you. No, he wanted to use what was left of you to further his own goals." I saw disgust flash across Boone's face as he absorbed the news. I set down my coffee mug and  
looked him squarely in the eyes. "So it leaves me wondering Boone. The Taelons are dead. I thought you were dead and yet here you are. How? Were you some toy of Zo'or's? Or are you the real deal? And if you are the real Boone how in the hell are you sitting here?"  
  
For a moment I thought I'd killed him he was sitting so still. Then he uttered "Sandoval."  
  
I frowned. "Sandoval? What about him?"  
  
That seemed to shake him out of his stupor. "I don't have all the answers Augur. I wish I did. The last thing I remember before I found myself at a portal station in Washington was Ha'gel firing at me. What I've been able to figure out is Sandoval brought me back. He wanted to use me to find Renee. I don't know where I was for the last three years and I knew nothing about this Lazarus before you told me. Renee didn't know either or she just didn't tell me." Now he frowned.  
  
I sat back again. Now that I had started I couldn't stop. All of my questions were banging around in my brain and I couldn't let go until they were answered. "Well that answers the how, now about the why. Why are you here Boone? I know I'm starting to sound like a broken record but I seriously doubt that you miraculously come back from the dead and the first thing that comes to your mind is `Boy I haven't seen my old pal Augur in a while I'll just go looking for him. We can catch up on old times.' No, there has got to be something going on. Besides that there is also that little thing with Sandoval bringing you back to snare Renee. While Renee can be a real pain in the ass I don't think dear old Sandy would go through all the trouble of bringing you out of cold storage to catch her... Unless she was messing up one of his plans. Yet I heard the Taelons were dead so what sort of plans could Sandoval have in motion? And how did our illustrious Agent Sandoval survive his  
employers' demise anyhow? I would have bet that there would have been a line of people ready to cut his heart out with a dull butter knife after his protection as a Companion agent was evaporated."  
  
I guess that was a pleasant image for Boone after all of the crap I'd dropped on him because he chuckled or maybe he just needed something to laugh at to keep from crying. Still I knew the moment he planed to tell me what was going on. His face took on that look. The "watch out for flying shit look" that I learned to recognize from him. Boone was a great poker player but when it came to bad news that man couldn't hide anything. ` Damn, it's like he stepped out of my memories. He hasn't changed a bit.'   
  
He set his cup on the table. "The Taelons maybe gone Augur but they've been replaced by a new threat. When the Taelons and the Jaridains came together they created something called Atavas. These Atavas' feed on human life energy. They are planning on wiping us out Augur but the world is so happy that the Taelons are gone that they don't want to believe the Atavas exist. They think that Renee and I are crazy." I opened my mouth but he waved me into silence. "We don't have any proof and with Sandoval controlling the Mothership he has all the resources he needs to cover up their existence." He paused, for dramatic effect I suppose. "Augur we need you. You're the best. If anyone can maneuver around Sandoval you can."  
  
`So I was right. The fighting has called my name again. The question is what will be my answer? Can I turn my back on humanity?' 


	4. Part 4

Liam  
  
As I woke the familiar sounds of medical equipment filled my ears. Not surprising really since my last memory was a hallucination. I thought I saw Commander William Boone talking to Augur by the docks. As I shook the last of bit of unconsciousness from my mind I probed the memory. It was too real too solid to be an image I conjured up. Boone must really have been there. 'Ah, what is that saying? 'Reports of my demise have been seriously exaggerated.' Guess Boone's not as dead as everyone believed. Damn, I even attended his funeral too what a waste.' Groaning I pushed myself up out of the examination bed. I was a little surprised at first that Augur wasn't in his usual chair waiting for me to wake up but then again usually we didn't get visitors and such interesting ones at that. Dead men walking and all that. I was enjoying poking fun at Boone's liveliness way too much but it was nice to know a fellow presumed dead man. I could still remember Dr. Park telling Doors I was dead. Doors was so shocked when I started talking I thought at the time I might have given him a heart attack, too bad I didn't.  
  
As I was getting to my feet one of the bio-med readings caught my eye. Looking closer I felt my heart drop to my stomach. Clear as day on my scan was the image of my DNA. There were three strands. 'Oh, damn.' I had wanted for so long to be wholly human. I had wanted to fit in, to not have to worry about my secret being revealed by my own blood, to not fear myself and what I could do. Maybe I was just denying who I was, like a little kid hiding what frightened him refusing that whatever it is exists. When my shaquarava disappeared I was relieved and when Ha'gel took away my Kimera genes I was doubly so. I had gotten what I wanted, to be fully human. Now... I was back in the same boat as before. Looking down at my hands I found the obvious marks of my shaquarava that some how I had missed. Rage filled me and quicker than humanly possible I struck down at the screen that held the knowledge I had been so desperately repressing. The glass shattered, leaving a deep web of cracks obscuring the readout. But it was too late to shut the door. The horse had already escaped. I was part Kimera again. I sank down leaning on the wall for support.   
  
I had wondered exactly how I had survived the Atavas pit when everything inside me said that this was it I was going to die. After I woke up alive I didn't examine the feeling too closely. I guess I knew deep down the reason why, I just didn't want to acknowledge it. Ignorance is bliss they say.   
  
The image of disgust when Renee found out I was an alien flashed through my mind. She and so many others had judged me only on that 1/3 of my DNA that made me Kimera how could I not? Then I remembered Lili and Augur. They were never disgusted by me. Shocked, yes. Out right amazed of course. Who the hell wouldn't be?! But they never backed away from me in fear or were unable to look me in the eyes because of their repulsion. Oh, Renee got over it eventually but she never fully trusted me, not that she really had before. That was one woman with some serious trust problems but I guess that was a given after all Doors was her idol and he never trusted anyone.   
  
I had to face facts, I was Kimera again. Though I suppose I never wasn't. No human has the memories of their parents and even when my Kimera genes were gone those stayed. I never would have been normal. I never would have been human anyway. If my father hadn't given me back my Kimera physiology I would have died. I've been dead before, twice, and I can say it's no picnic. Any type of life is preferable to death. Even if it is as an alien with millions of races inside of me with absolutely no clue as to what I can really do. I guess nobody really knows himself or herself I'm no exception. My case is just a bit more literal than other peoples.  
  
Life shattering revelations aside I still had to deal with Boone's sudden appearance. In my life I have faced many betrayals and I guess they have made me a bit paranoid because I found myself considering the implications of him being here, alive. I didn't particularly care how he was alive, after all death is rarely permanent in my experience. No, I was more worried about what he was doing here. He wasn't looking for me that's for sure, his shocked expression at my appearance told me that, so that left only one other person on this island, Augur. That brought up the question of why Boone would want to see Augur all of a sudden. The situation contained too many unknowns. Like where has Boone been the last four years? Who has he been working for?   
  
So I decided to work with what I knew. I knew that Boone and Augur had been friends, I knew that Augur had thought Boone dead, and I knew that the world thought Boone's former employers were dead as well. One might assume that scant amount of information that Boone having been in hiding came out to find his friend and let him know he wasn't dead now that the reason he was hiding was dead. One could assume that, but I learned as the Leader of the Resistance assumptions get people killed. I couldn't try to guess the hows or the whys and I really didn't have to. Boone was after all in the next room. All I had to do was get up and ask him. He wasn't dead after all. If he were dead than none of this would be happening. Dead men tell no tales. 'Stop making bad jokes Liam. You've been hanging around Augur too long. Get off your ass and get to it.'  
  
Grunting I lifted myself off the floor, smashing that screen took more energy than I thought. Ignoring the pain I got to my feet. 'Thank God the world isn't spinning this time.' Taking a few shaky steps I still considered my condition better than earlier. I could actually walk.  
  
If I know Augur, and I do, he's in the kitchen. I don't know why but whenever trouble strikes he's always in the kitchen. He's practically been living the kitchen the last few months. I made my way slowly too drained to move fast and pretty sure it would be a bad idea to try. I blacked out the last time I did. My hunch was proved correct when I heard voices upon my approach. I paused outside the door. 'Well, once more into the breach.'   
  
I pushed open the door and two heads shot up. From there their reactions differed. Boone made an abortive gesture towards his cat where I assume he keeps his gun. Augur started fussing. Before this whole thing Augur never was this obvious with his worry over me. I could always tell when he thought I was going too far. I remember the look on his face when I accepted the position as Leader of the Resistance. It was like he was telling me no. No, don't put yourself in that position. He never voiced his worries before my "accident" but I knew even if no one else did. Now it was clear as day. He got up and helped me over to the table, pulled out my chair, and poured me a cup of coffee while Boone watched bemused. It's times like these I really feel my age. When Augur was finally seated again no one said anything. But I am an expert at breaking long silences, I had to be I encountered them often enough. Every time I walked onto the bride of the Mothership when Zo'or and my father were planning something, every time I had to break up inter-relations problems in the Resistance, when some one would bring up my heritage. "Don't let me interrupt gentleman. Go on."  
  
Boone gave me a strange look, but then again he didn't know me. He turned back to Augur. "We need your help Augur. The Atavus are-"  
  
I felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me. Of all the things I had thought they'd be talking about the Atavus was the one thing I hadn't even considered. "How the hell did the Atavus get out!" Boone gave me an even stranger look.   
  
"How do you know about the Atavus?"   
  
"I was there when they were created."   
  
Augur smiled, "He's got you there Boone." I glared at Augur half-heartedly.  
  
"The Atavus were trapped in a lava hollow 60, 000 feet under the ocean. How the hell did they get out? I thought they'd starve to death and that would be the end of them."   
  
"Renee lead a rescue mission to save, um, you" Augur and I shared a look. We couldn't believe she'd do that. I knew Renee had been warming up to me ever since that time I was dying but I never expected her to try and rescue me. "Only when she tried to save you she let Sandoval know where and what was in that chamber. He then brought them aboard the Mothership."  
  
I felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach. "Damn." Some how I found the strength to get out of my chair. I needed to get out. It was happening again damn it! I could see it in my head. Another battle was being waged and my father was once again in the enemy camp. I made it to the porch before I couldn't take another step. Gripping onto the porch rail I looked out unseeing at the setting sun. 'How can this be happening again?' I heard footsteps behind me but I was too exhausted to turn to see who had followed me.  
  
"Are you alright?" Boone asked as he came up beside me. He took a similar position to mine only looking at me.   
  
"No. My father once again is working against the interests of humanity."  
  
"Your father?" Shock colored Boone's voice.  
  
'Guess Renee didn't tell him everything. Doesn't really surprise me.' "Yes my father, Sandoval." I sighed. "Renee didn't tell you did she?" I took the look on his face for a yes. I snorted. "She was always doing things like that. Not telling me what she didn't like." I looked at him. "Guess she's still doing that. She really hated Sandoval and in her eyes he wasn't really my father anyway. Ha'gel used his body so in her eyes all he was just a surrogate. How could he be just a surrogate to me? He's part of me, part of my memories. He's more my father than Ha'gel. Truth to tell all Renee really cared about was Ha'gel. She was so concerned with my alien half she never wanted to know anything else. She never even asked who my mother was." I shook my head and immediately regretted it. Nausea made it hard to stand. I gripped harder to the railing and gritted my teeth.  
  
"I came here for Augur..." Boone started. "But," He looked out at the setting sun. "The problem is no one wants to believe. The Taelons are gone. Humanity's been rid of one alien threat and even the former Resistance people don't want to believe there's a new threat. The Resistance people want to settle back into the lives they left behind. They don't want to fight anymore. They'd rather believe Renee and I are crazy than think of fighting again. We need you. You could convince them that the Atavus are real and not the ravings of madmen."  
  
'I can't blame them.' "What about you? You're a rather respected person yourself." 'I don't want to go back to the fighting either.'  
  
Boone sighed, "These people don't know me. They know of me. To them I'm a legend. A dead one at that. I might have been able to convince the Liberation but this is a new world. They don't trust me." I noticed he didn't look too happy about it either. Then he looked me squarely in the eyes. "They trust you."  
  
"Damn you." I pounded my fist against the railing and turned away from him. "I've been fighting my whole life. I have not spent one day of my life without a gun at my side. Boone you don't know what its like. I'm only three years old. When you were three what were you doing? I know damn well you weren't being asked to go up against your father and possibly kill him your only living parent. You were probably sucking on your thumb! You didn't even know what a gun was let alone being forced to shoot and kill people with it. No, Boone I've had enough. You want to fight these Atavus. Well you can win this one without me." Using my anger as fuel I marched back to my room not looking back.  
  
  
Boone   
  
I watched as the Major stormed off and as the sun finally set. It felt doubly dramatic as if the sun was setting on the human race. What was the world coming to if such a hero would turn his back to the suffering of innocent. I never expected him to react like that. Though I guess I should have know better. Even heroes burn out. I had a similar reaction when Renee tried to get me to help her.  
  
"He's so young." I spun towards the dark doorway. Augur stepped out of the shadows. "He told me once that the Kimera aren't considered adults until they reach at least a 100 years. That was back when he still talked about himself." Augur sighed. This was the most unlike himself I'd seen yet. He had his arms crossed over his chest and sad, resigned expression on his face. He wasn't looking at me but through me. "He had to grow up so fast Boone and I don't mean appearance wise. He was just a child in a war torn world. An orphan trying to find a way to fit in. Fighting to save the world from its self. He's been betrayed so many times. When your heart's been trampled on so many times Boone you don't care if the world goes to hell because you're so tired." Augur looked at the ground then back up. His eyes were full of pain and knowing. "He's all I've got left and I'm all he has. He's mad, but he's a good boy." Slowly turning Augur walked away leaving me to ponder both their words in the dark. 


	5. Part 5

Augur  
  
I was sipping my coffee when he staggered in. I didn't follow him last night. Oh, I wanted to but I'm not his nursemaid and no matter that he's young as hell he's been taking care of himself for a long time. I could see it in his face last night; he was hurting and ready to explode. I was right. I could hear the tirade from the kitchen. When Liam did something he never did it quietly. Still I couldn't blame him. The universe has treated him like a doormat that it doesn't much like. No, if I was him I think I would have had a postal episode. There was nothing I could do. Nothing I could say that would have eased his pain. Saying I knew how he felt would be so condescending the words probably would choke me as they left my throat. I have no idea how he feels. I do know how he was going to react though.  
  
I've been there enough times when he's blown. Heck, I was the one who bought him a punching bag so he'd stop wrecking my furniture. Liam's outbursts are like a tsunamis, a huge wave that crashes down destroying everything but gone in an instant. Liam cools off quickly. He just can't stay mad. He's too forgiving. He forgave me. He forgave Sandoval for heaven's sake! Liam doesn't linger over his anger, he moves on. No matter what he says when he blows he's not a quitter. He's a protector. Yeah, I heard that too. Liam doesn't want to go back. He wants to stay here, safe. He wants to be able to live and not see death at every turn. I can't say I blame him. He's just a child.  
  
What's the definition of a hero? Oh, I'm sure if I looked it up in the dictionary there would be some neat little sentence supposedly summing up everything that makes a hero. I may not know exactly what a hero is but I do know one thing. Heroes break. Heroes die. Heroes are the best of us. Heroes do the things they do so that others don't have to. I'm no hero. I might have been able to tell Boone that the world could go to hell and actually let it. That's why I'll never make a good hero. I'm too damn self- serving. Liam - well - he's too damn noble for his own good. Saving everyone he can even the enemy. He's a hero. I could hear him cracking last night but he didn't break. No, cracks can heal, can close up, breaks take time to mend. He hasn't broken yet and God help us he never will. Liam is everything good about humanity. He's a hero.  
  
So the look in his eyes doesn't surprise me in the least. He can't not help. He's made his decision. There really was no decision to make. He's a hero. Heroes save the world.  
  
For a moment I cursed him and me. I've spent most of my life keeping people at a distance. I learned young that it hurts less that way. I'd show people what they wanted to see and let them think what they wanted of me. So what do I do? I start befriending heroes. Heroes have this tendency to end up dead. They go down in blazes of glory. Hell, the guy in the next room was a friend too and look what happened to him. Well, he didn't exactly die but… Damn. Where did Liam get those hero inclinations from any way? Certainly not Sandoval. Maybe his mother I never met Siobhan so maybe she was the source of his suicidal tendencies.  
  
I took a deep breath and let out my anger. Railing at the world didn't do anyone any good and mean while the kid was looking at me, pleading me to understand. I did. That didn't mean I had to like it. Resigned I asked, "So I guess this means the holiday's over?" I smiled weakly to let him know I understand.  
  
Liam still looked guilty. He knows me as well as I know him. He's knows I just about rather do anything than risk my hide. "Yes… Augur…" He seemed at a loss for words. He waved his hands in helplessness.  
  
"It's time to go play hero again kid." I set my mug down and mock glared at him. "Now don't you start thinking I'm your loyal side kick. I never looked good in tights." He smiled at my jab. I'm the only one who can get away with calling him kid. I think I do it to remind him that though he looks 30 he doesn't always have to act it around me. I am 30 and I don't act it even half the time why should he? Now I just had to get him to stop feeling guilty. A guilty Liam made for some pretty bad company.  
  
"Oh, I don't know. I imagine the women go crazy for a man in tights." He's tone lost that guilty edge and took on a teasing one instead.  
  
"What would you know about it?" I threw back. Liam just smiled. "So, you going to tell Boone you've reconsidered?" He just kept on smiling. Mission accomplished. Now all that was left to do was pack. Then it was back to fighting for to save the world and not even being paid for it. Oh joy. 


	6. Part 6

Liam  
  
'I don't like boats. In fact I hate boats.' I felt my stomach rebel again. This is only the second time I've ever been in a boat and I know already that I hate them. Swallowing my bile I glanced over at Boone. He looked calm and cool as a cucumber. 'I hate him too.' Suddenly we hit a big wave and I could no longer control my stomach. Leaning over the side I heaved up what was left of the contents of my stomach and bits of the lining as well. My first boat ride was worse than this if that were possible. Augur thought it would be a good way for me to relax and had taken me out for a "cruise" that lasted all of twenty minutes. That's when I found out I get violently seasick. I felt hands on my back and gripping my arm. When I was able I leaned back wiping my mouth with the towel handed me. I winced at the look of sympathy in Boone's eyes. I hate showing weakness. I can accept it when it's Augur but with strangers I always feel as if I'm exposed and helpless and I hate feeling helpless.  
  
As an attempt to look anywhere but at Boone I glanced up at Augur. He was at the helm and steering like a pro. Since this ship was his only way off the island where he had secluded himself it made sense that he would learn how to drive it to the best of his ability. The name of the boat hadn't surprised me in the bit but I could tell it did Boone. He named it Lili's Flight. I had always suspected that Augur had deeper feelings for Lili than he would admit.  
  
I glanced back and Boone was still staring at me. Irritated I snapped, "What?!"  
  
He blinked. Then looked a bit chagrined still he forged on. "Nothing…It's just I was wondering…last night you looked half dead but now…" I grimaced. 'You had to ask.' I saw a flicker from up ahead and I knew that Augur was listening as well. We went over another swell and once again my stomach clenched. 'To hell with it.' At that moment I was wet, miserable, and I was throwing myself back into the fire to save humanity from itself yet again and I frankly didn't give a damn if Boone thought I was a monster or not.  
  
Gritting my teeth I ground out, "I used my shaquarava to heal myself." 'And it wasn't easy.' I had spent hours the night before learning to control my shaquarava. Before I had only been able to use them instinctually. I had only consciously been able to control them twice. Once when I fired at Doors when he was going insane and the second time when I had to prove to the alternate Da'an that I was who I said I was. I almost gave up but I knew if I was going to go back I had to be 100%. I wasn't going to be any good to anyone if I couldn't even stand for extended periods of time. Now Boone just looked confused. Concentrating I lit up my palms then held them out in front of me. "My shaquarava." I heard a muttered jeez from the front. Quickly I put them out. There was still a frown on Boone's face. I had been found an ogre among humans once again. I thought I didn't care but I found I did. It hurt, but it was just a small hurt one I was used to. 'You keep telling yourself that and maybe some day you'll believe it.'  
  
Consequently I was surprised when Boone asked, "If it was that simple why didn't you do it earlier?" I never expected him to ask. Renee never had about any of the strange things I did. She never wanted to know. Now that someone had finally asked I found myself not really wanting to explain. After all how do you explain that you are so afraid of yourself that you try and forget elements of yourself? I was so afraid of the killer in me that I never tried to control my shaquarava before. In fact I ignored them into dormancy. Putting my feelings into words would just make me feel more guilty and more selfish. I just couldn't do it.  
  
I just shook my head. "It's a long story." Boone nodded slowly. I could tell he wanted to push but wasn't going to. 'Good because I have no idea what to say.' I opened my mouth to change the subject but found that it really wasn't a good idea. Head hanging over the side of the boat I shook with dry heaves. Once again I felt stabilizing hands holding on to me.  
  
I hauled myself back up feeling terrible. I didn't know which was worse, throwing up or not having anything to throw up. Boone smiled at me reassuringly. "Don't feel too bad kid. Some are borne to water some to air. I'd just stick to the air if I were you." I could hear Augur chuckling up front. 'Oh, shut up.' This time I knew better than to open my mouth. I sat, mouth clenched shut, for the rest of the trip.  
  
  
  
Ha'gel  
  
As I watched my son I felt my heart ach. I so wanted him to be here so I could explain, so I could hold him but I couldn't. Not yet. I felt as Con'er the eldest of us all approached. He radiated certainty and serenity like the oldest and wisest of us do. But Con'er had a strength to his aura that the others had not yet attained.  
  
"He should not have lived." It was not a question. Liam would have died, should have died, if not for my interference. It was destined he would do so.  
  
"Yes." I replied in the same dispassionate voice.  
  
"This changes everything." Once again a statement of fact.  
  
"Yes." Liam would not be able to sit on the sidelines. He was after all my son.  
  
"You let your emotions control you Ha'gel."  
  
"Yes." 'How could I let my son die so young? Let him never experience the wonders of living? I brought him into the world and was of my blood, my responsibility, and I left him alone. Yes my guilt and love drove me to save him.' I couldn't voice my reasons like that. It would be disrespectful. Con'er was an elder, the elder.  
  
"He may destroy everything."  
  
"No." My heart was behind my words and Con'er looked at me in surprise.  
  
"No?" His voice kept its neutral tone.  
  
"No." I said firmly. "He will save everything." I was embarrassed. To speak to an elder that way was forbidden but lately I had been breaking many rules. What was one more?  
  
"We shall see." Amusement colored Con'er's voice. We both turned to watch as my son struggled on in life.  
  
My, "Yes," echoed through out our realm.  
  
Cair'an  
  
At first I ran on instinct doing whatever my body needed to keep running. I went through the motions like a machine and like a machine I didn't care about anything or anyone around me. But then my mind caught up with me. I don't know exactly when it happened all I know is that one second everything was all right the next nothing was. It might have been gradual or all at once but I know it felt like I was a sleeper who'd waken from a long nap to find the world had turned on it's head. At first I was confused but I quickly realized if I wanted to stay alive long enough to figure things out I had better try and keep up appearances. That was the weirdest part even though I wasn't strictly aware I still had all the memories of what went on while I was…um, asleep. I knew what was expected of me and I tried to keep to those parameters but it was like there were two different me's arguing inside my head. One said that everything I was doing, killing to feed slaughtering humans like animals, was my right as a superior being. It oozed arrogance and hunger. The other was calmly trying to tell me that it was wrong all wrong. It was so self-assured and full of feeling unlike the colder me. Some how I knew that both were reaching for my heart trying to convince me of their own point of view. Every time I took a life every time I saw the look of death pass over one of my victims faces the heartless part of me lost ground and the decent part gained it. My arrogance spoke up now and again but the faces of the victims quickly squashed it. Soon it had faded almost completely only whispering to me now and again.  
  
My fellow Atavui take such joy in killing it borders on orgasmatic. I'm glad that before I "woke up" I went abut killing methodically and efficiently as terrible as that sounds because I would never be able to fake that ecstasy they took in killing. Before I woke up I was know for my standoffish demeanor. I bless that. I still see the men and sometimes the women eyeing me hungrily. That gives me the impression that I am quite attractive though I don't have any way of really telling. I feel no such attraction towards any of my fellows and so I am not a good judge of such things. I do know I am quite odd looking for an Atavus. My black hair is long, straight, and reaches to bellow my knees. My eyes are an extremely dark blue unlike my fellows' brown, gray, and black. I am the most human looking Atavus. My ridges are not as pounced as the others and my skin is a paler huge. Diuru'ye once joked I looked more like a hybrid than an Atavus and she was right. Maybe it is my oddness that appeals to them. I'm not really sure. I do know the reason why none of them make a move on me any more. It was after I woke up, before I just calmly walked away from the asker I guess sex wasn't needed to survive so I felt no need to do it then, but when Tau'erds approached me I snapped. It was right after a kill; he was covered in blood and grinning lewdly. Tau'erds is commanding and egotistical. Still I know the others are drawn to his charisma. I have often heard him talk against How'lyn and he is the only one I know who would be able to get away with that. Tau'erds probably thought I would never turn him down, that I would be too intimidated by his authority to do so. I could tell that killing had excited him and I just snapped.  
  
Not outwardly, outwardly I appeared just as cold and unemotional as ever, but inwardly I was livid. I think I was so used to not showing emotion that my anger didn't show or maybe I was so furious that I couldn't show it. I was so mad, mad at him, mad at me, especially at me. I hated myself for doing what I was doing to survive and hating myself for surviving. I hated killing. I hated him and he was the perfect vent. I guess it was unnerving watching someone calmly, face unchanging take someone apart. I remember the shocked expressions on the other's faces and I remember the sick pleasure I got when I heard his bones break. I gave in to my darker emotions and I almost killed him. When I was done I just turned and left. I hadn't spoken a word the whole time. I figured at the time he would take it as a no. No one has approached me again but they kept looking.  
  
After my confrontation with Tau'erds the others left me more to myself. I wasn't good company I guess. So I was surprised when Arie'tta came for me. I was in my bedchamber where I spent most of my time.  
  
"How'lyn wants you." She sounded smugly pleased. She most likely figured I was in trouble. She probably was right. How'lyn doesn't call people to him for social visits. I calmly rose and tilted my head to show my compliance. I was and still am know for my silence. Before I couldn't be bothered to speak to those around me and when I did it was only when necessary and usually only one word answers. I stick to that to both to keep up the illusion and because I am afraid if I start talking I won't be able to stop. I don't think what I'd have to say, my opinions of our race, would go over well. The effect my silence had on my fellow Atavui is just a bonus. They appear greatly unnerved by it. Arie'tta certainly wasn't the exception. She swallowed then hurriedly turned and started walking.  
  
As I followed I considered the walls as a way of keeping my mind off my impending meeting with How'lyn. After all I did not want to consider the thousand and ways he might have in mind to kill me. It sounds strange but so much about this Taelon ship seems familiar. I live in a constant state of what is that human saying? Déjà vu. Sometimes I find myself considering the Taelon technology that surrounds us and I find I actually understand it. I look for things I know should be there and they are. It is decidedly creepy. Also when I am on Earth some times I find myself looking at something and silently saying I know that. I seem to know and understand the humans more than my own people and I find myself lingering there whenever I have the chance.  
  
We finally reached the bridge and I found myself looking directly into How'lyn's eyes. The look in his eyes was one that also struck a cord in me. As if I had seen someone with the same look of hunger, insanity, and greed burning in his eyes before. I kept my gaze focused on How'lyn even as he dismissed Arie'tta with a wave. I inclined my head in a silent question. Instead of answering it he turned his gaze to a hybrid I hadn't noticed was there. I had been so focused on How'lyn that I hadn't looked around when I entered. 'That was stupid. Who knows what How'lyn is planning?' I silently berated myself. I corrected that mistake by making a quick scan of the room. Other than a few scattered hybrids doing keep up work the only person in the room of any importance was Ronald Sandoval, How'lyn's human lackey. Sandoval unlocks the most flashes. Every time I look at him it is like the image is superimposed over one already in my mind. Like I am seeing him and bits of other hims in flashes or as if I'm seen past happenings.  
  
Shaking off the strange sensation I get every time I look at him I turned my attention back to the more immediate danger of How'lyn. I still didn't know why my presence was requested and I knew it was definitely not a good idea to turn my back on him. I had only taken my gaze off How'lyn for a second but that was enough time for the young hybrid, a blond female, to make her way over to him. Her face was as unemotional as my own even as he started circling her; keeping only inches from her person. He was like an insatiable predator circling his prey. The light in his eyes grew at the hybrid's obvious confusion as she tried to follow him with her eyes as he circled. Her head whipping around she tried to keep him in sight. Then suddenly he lunged in and summarily broke her neck. I saw Sandoval wince out of the corner of my eye. I on the other hand cried out internally but appeared unfazed. I looked down at the dead hybrid then up at How'lyn who was standing over her crumpled body smiling with self satisfied devilish smugness. 'You can almost hear him purring.' Though I have no idea what purring is it seems to fit the situation some how. I shoved my bit of confusion away and focused on the current situation. I could tell that all of this was just show to remind me of his power. I admit internally I was reminded. I raised an eyebrow. For me that is the equivalent of a shocked expression on someone else.  
  
Languidly he moved up close to me and started circling just as he'd done to the unfortunate girl on the floor. I stood still not trying to follow his movements and not reacting. "These hybrids are so useless." He whispered in hoarsely in my ear. I could practically feel the undercurrents to it. I desperately wanted to fidget but I kept myself casually standing not showing a hint of my nervousness. 'I'm not going to play your game.' How'lyn is a predator and predators attack at the sign of weakness. I know. I am one. He stopped directly in front of me mere inches from my face. I could feel his breath on my face. It was another act to remind me who was in charge and it was supposed to unnerve me. Again I tilted my head questioning not showing him how well it was working. This was a test of will and there was no way I was going to show him fear. How'lyn threw back his head and laughed. Moving off he stared out at the stars his back to me. I shot a look to Sandoval and I recognized the trapped expression on his face for what it was unlike others who would only have seen an impassive mask. At that moment I felt closer to him, a human, than I ever had to any of my own kind. I hastily transferred my gaze back to How'lyn as he dramatically swung back around to face me. He was insane and I did not want to anger him by looking towards his servant for comfort.  
  
"These hybrids are useless for espionage Cair'an. To do that you need intelligence something that they lack after a day or so. I need someone to go down to that miserable dirt ball and spy for me. That someone is…you." He paused most likely for dramatic effect. "You are the most human looking of us and are relatively…striking in your own right." 'I have a feeling he means that in more ways than one.' Tau'erds flashed through my mind. The two have been rivals ever since we were released. How'lyn has only kept on top because of his strength and his domineering personality but I have felt the tides shifting. If How'lyn doesn't come up with results soon he may find himself with revolt on his hands. He must be getting desperate to trust me but maybe my earlier actions have made How'lyn decide to trust me. Even though I feel no sense of loyalty to How'lyn in fact the only feeling I have towards him is one of disgust and repulsion. One thing for sure I did not want Tau'erds to come into power. It is doubtful he has forgotten what I did to him.  
  
"I have heard." How'lyn glanced at Sandoval meaningfully. "That Earth males are vulnerable to a pretty face." It sounded like a direct quote to me. That didn't surprise me really How'lyn maybe dangerous and insane but he wasn't awfully original. Then I backed up and reviewed what he'd said. 'Spy for him on Earth?' I'd give just about anything to be off this ship where ghosts seemed to follow me around. Earth appears to awaken the same sense of awareness as the Mothership does, but better…more pleasant. I straightened my posture to show him I was listening. How'lyn got the message. His grin grew again. I wouldn't have thought it possible. "I don't care how you do it but I want Renee stopped. I want her little…" He waved his hands around in a very human display of temper. "Resistance stopped," I saw Sandoval twitch again. 'It's a good thing Sandoval is behind How'lyn and he can't see. I doubt that How'lyn would take well to all of his reactions.' I couldn't understand my concern for the human but I knew I didn't want to see him the object of How'lyn's anger. "and I don't care what you have to do to find them." His abrupt ending was an obvious dismissal. I nodded. As I turned to leave I once again caught the trapped look in Sandoval's eyes and my heart went out to him. I was getting off this ghost ship and he had no hope of doing the same.  
  
"A pity such a beautiful creature is so cold." How'lyn's voice drifted down to me. I didn't know whether to be insulted or flattered so I settled for indifference. I didn't really care what that pig of a leader thought of me. Still there was much I had to do before I could leave and I had a feeling I had better do it now before How'lyn changed his mind. My first stop: Diuru'ye's quarters.  
  
I maybe the strangest looking of my kind but I am not the strangest acting. Diuru'ye is a collector of all things human. She takes things off those she kills, even clothes and keys. When she is not killing Diuru'ye is a dreamer. She is just as much a murderer as the rest of my kind but she is the oddest when it comes to personality. As I neared her room I found myself weaving through the junk piling up in the corridors around it. Diuru'ye has the most room to herself because the others have found that her stuff tends to migrate. Diuru'ye is friendly to everyone like a little girl but underneath it all she is vicious just like the rest of us. Still her bubbling personality gets on the nerves of the greater part of us. I find her rather refreshing retrospect, but I am not going to her for a chat today. Not that I do on any other day but sometimes I find myself in her room just listening to her as she rambles on. She is probably the closest thing to a friend I have aboard this ship. No, I need things to pass for human: makeup, clothing, money, and a place to stay. Since the only way for me to obtain these things is to either take them from Diuru'ye who has already done the killing or kill myself. I would rather go to Diuru'ye. I know that it is the same as if I killed those people myself but at least this way my hands are covered with less blood.  
  
I knocked at her doorway like most of us she leaves her door open. It is supposed to be a sign of trust, which I find ironic since most of us don't even trust our own shadows. Diuru'ye finds knocking amusing because it is a human custom. I heard giggling from inside and entered. Diuru'ye was digging through a pile of clothing. I took the opportunity to study her dwelling. It had grown more cluttered since the last time I was here. Her shelves were covered with watches, compacts, wallets, magazines, and glasses. The floor was covered with all types of pants, shoes, and dresses. I took a step forward and heard a crunch. Looking down I found I had broken a coffee mug. Diuru'ye finally dug herself out of the heap and twisted around to face me. I felt a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth. She was wearing her usual, a mix of brightly covered human clothing. She had out done herself today in a bright pink shirt with short sleeves and a long light blue skirt that reached her ankles. Her feet were covered with a pair of crimson red leather shoes. The heels seemed too thin and long to support her weight but were defining gravity and doing so. Her hair was pulled back with a feathery pink thing and that's where words failed me.  
  
Breathlessly with a huge smile plastered on her face she asked, "So what brings you here today?" It's her usual greeting though she never expects me to answer.  
  
"Spying." Shock then confusion flickered across her face. Diuru'ye like everyone else is used to my silence. "How'lyn wants me to spy on the humans." It was the longest speech I had ever made and I thought for a moment that Diuru'ye was going to die of shock.  
  
Understanding flashed in her eyes. She was practically bouncing up and down with excitement. "Ooh and you want me to help you with your disguise?" I nodded. A huge grin settled over her features. I noticed absently that she was wearing that human cosmetic lipstick. She grabbed my hand and started dragging me off into the deeper recesses of her room. "We've got so much to do! This is going to be so much fun!" Suddenly this didn't seem like such a good idea. For some reason I feared for my life. I struggled feebly as she drug me further and further from the door. 'Who ever would have thought that Diuru'ye was this strong?' 


	7. Part 7

Liam  
  
I knew I looked like an idiot with my mouth hanging open but I was too shocked to truly care. After our long journey on that damn boat about all I had been ready to do on arrival at Boone's headquarters was take a long nap. I was a little surprised that Boone was heading a separate cell than Renee, I would have figured her wanting to keep her major assets close, but I shrugged it off. I was too tired tax my brain over Renee's idea of tactics. I wasn't prepared for the sight that greeted me when we got there. The place was a wreck. The facility was an abandoned warehouse so I had expected a degree of disrepair but this was incredible.  
  
A drunk staggered past me obviously looking for a place to throw up. Beer cans littered the floor along with pizza and Chinese take out containers. People were scattered around in various stages of unconsciousness on pieces of beat up furniture. Snapping out of my shock I turned my gaze on Boone who was standing beside me. He was fidgeting with obvious embarrassment the grimace on his face telegraphing his distaste. I could tell he was just as upset about the state of things as I was. I opened my mouth ready to ask what the hell was going on when Boone grabbed my elbow and pulled me off to the side. He whispered. "Things are bad. The number of people willing to fight who are reliable only make up 1/5th of our groups. The rest…they're in it for the money." I jerked. My attention hadn't really been on what he was saying instead on the antics of those around us but that caught me off guard. Boone noticed. "Yes, money. Damn it. We've sunk to hiring mercenaries and amoralists because there is no other way. Why do you think I was so desperate to find Augur? To get you here?" I nodded grimly.  
  
"They're going to have to go." I whispered back. The state of affairs had revived me. "Having these types is more dangerous than having no one. You have to realize that." I pointed to a pair quickly drinking themselves into oblivion. "These people will turn on us in a minute. They aren't in it for humanity and there are easier ways to make a profit. When it comes down to it they're not going to take a stand they're going to turn tail and run." Max flashed through my mind. "Or be bought out."  
  
Boone flashed me a snappy grin like this was the chance he had been waiting for. 'Uh oh.' "Okay boss so what do we do?" I felt like I'd been slapped. It seemed like just a minute ago that I'd been divested of that responsibility and here I was being presented it again. 'I don't want it! I don't want to be in charge of who lives or dies! I don't want the power, the responsibility, or the guilt! I don't want to be the one on which everything hinges! ' Taking a deep breath I calmed myself. 'Stop it Liam. You're acting like a child. You have to be a grown up.' For a second I thought I heard a childish voice saying, 'but I don't wanna.' Then I shook it off. 'The Resistance doesn't need lunatics they've already got enough.' I glanced around once again at the interior of the warehouse. 'See.' I still felt like I was being backed into a corner. 'I can't not help. I couldn't the first time I was asked, I couldn't when Boone asked me to come back, and I can't now. Damn it I knew I shouldn't have left bread crumbs.'  
  
Taking another deep breath I slowly let it out. With it went all of my anger and frustration to be replaced by resolve. I shifted gears shoving my resignation and sense of injustice into the tiny box where I toss all of my pesky emotions when it comes to leading. Too bad the lid was faulty and things leaked out occasionally. Calmly all business I surveyed the warehouse noting the depth of corruption and greed around me and I made a rapid decision.  
  
I turned to Boone and said bluntly, "We get some sleep." He looked a little surprised. "What do you think I'm a fool? I'm tired and they're drunk. We wait till tomorrow when they're hungover then break the bad news. We do it gradually too. Keep the ones who have skills till we find someone to replace them." I looked around then turned to Boone. "Now where can I grab some shut eye?" He pointed to a group of doors off to the left. Nodding I headed that way. I paused and turned to Boone a thought striking me. Smiling I said, "Don't feel bad. Some are born to command some to follow. I'd stick to following if I were you." I heard a snort behind me.  
  
Augur  
  
I managed to get my equipment unloaded and into the warehouse in time to see Liam's exit and catch his last comment. 'Ah, I've taught him well.' Saddling up next to Boone I couldn't help myself. "Jeez, what a dump." He gave another snort but didn't turn. He stayed facing the door that Liam had walked through. We just stood like that for a couple minutes watching as drunks passed out and others broke things. I was waiting. I've changed over the years but Boone hasn't. I guess it would be kind of hard for him to. One up in my favor I guess. I can sense the turmoil rolling off of him. He was never the actor that Liam was, his father after all wasn't Sandoval Master of the Iron Face and his teacher wasn't Augur Master of the Total Bullshit. I knew he'd crack in 5…4…3…2…1…0. 'Damn my watch must be off.'  
  
"He's right." 'So close.' "I never was much of a leader. I was always the lone ranger. Oh, I could command small groups but organizing something this size." He waved his hand indicating the dump we were standing in. "It's beyond me. I'm turning control over to him." 'So that's what this is about. Boone wants Liam to take control. I should have seen it coming.' He finally turned to look at me. "I am doing the right thing?"  
  
I opened my mouth then closed it. My first instinct was to shout, 'No!' But God help me that was parental instinct. I wanted to protect him. 'It's too late for that. Besides I would never be able to stop him.' I sighed. "Do you mean will he be a good leader?" Boone nodded. Unable to look him in the eye I turned my gaze to the floor. I was acting against every instinct inside of me. "Liam was an great leader Boone. The people respected him." I kicked a convenient pebble. "They died for him, though he'll never admit it. He lead the Resistance when we had no hope. He kept us together. He's a better leader than Doors ever was. He's probably the best shot we have at getting through this alive." I paused. "And I wish to hell it wasn't so." I was unable to keep the anger out of my voice. I didn't like this I didn't like this at all. How could I? The whole situation sucked. It never ends. It never ends. 


	8. Part 8

Sandoval  
  
As a boy I used to love to look up at the stars. I'd sit up on my roof gawking at them all night long. They seemed so majestic, so mysterious. So high. Even as an adult I used to love to just look at them and wonder about what was up there. Dee Dee used to complain that I spent more time outside than in the house. I find it ironic that when I finally got the chance to be among the stars, to see what I'd been dreaming about, I no longer cared. Like so many other things my CVI had robbed the beauty of the stars from me. I think the Taelons stopped looking at the stars in wonder a long time before they ever reached Earth. They became so confident in their spirituality and intellectual superiority that they no longer looked at the stars in wonder but with cold calculation. They didn't marvel at the grandness of it all certain that they knew what was what. The universe was made up of protons and electrons and that was that. They no longer needed to look out and wonder. They knew everything they needed to. So that leaves me wondering…why did they build an astrometric observatory into the Mothership? The records show that no Taelon ever set foot in it. In fact only repair crews ever did before I made it my sanctuary.  
  
With the Atavus creating their own little nests on the Mothership and How'lyn getting more and more irrational as time went by I desperately needed some place for myself. My rooms were not safe I needed a place to be alone. When I started my search I never expected to find this place. At the most I was hoping for an abandoned lab but when I found the observatory I knew that this was it. My old love for the stars decided it for me. I managed to drag a chair from the volunteer's quarters to it. I had to since the place was absolutely barren.  
  
I've been sitting here gazing out at the stars for nearly an hour. I've been doing it more and more lately. Stargazing. Trying to recapture my innocence maybe. I imagine the Atavui don't look at the stars either. It's a shame they're so beautiful. I felt something wet trickling down my neck. Wiping it away I didn't bother to look at my hand. I knew what I would find if I did.  
  
I thought of my latest escapade. Sending Cair'an down to spy was a stopgap measure and I knew it. I doubt she will have much luck as a spy. She may look human but she acts like a robot. Sometimes I thought I'd see emotion in her eyes when she looked at me, something akin to sorrow, but it must have been my imagination Atavui don't feel anything other than greed. No, her real job was to show the others that How'lyn was taking steps to remedy the Renee problem. She is a token for How'lyn to hold up. But I can see it coming How'lyn is going to lose control. Everyday more and more of his power slips through his fingers and he knows it. Still I don't think How'lyn realizes exactly how much danger he's in. I know Tau'erds's type and I think that within four months time he'll be the one in charge. How'lyn most likely will be dead. Tau'erds isn't the type to leave his enemy alive. Cair'an will probably join him not too much later for the same reason. I knowof what she did to him and I know he was humiliated by the incident. And me? I don't know what will happen to me. Tau'erds has an even poorer opinion of humans than How'lyn. I can't see him keeping me or any human around as a subordinate. I guess it really doesn't matter anyway. My days are numbered one way or another.  
  
I don't know really why I bother. Disobeying and having How'lyn kill me would be quicker and less suspenseful, though probably no less painful. Maybe it is the sense of familiarity? Not wanting to let go til the end? I don't know why I keep doing it. I sell more and more of my soul everyday to extend my life for a few additional days. Betraying humanity just to stay alive. I know if How'lyn killed me it would take some time before he could find a competent human servant. Enough for Tau'erds to take control surly, I'd at least have the satisfaction of taking my "master" down with me. However my stomach turns at the thought of Tau'erds free to do as he pleases with humanity. Right now his desires are being kept in check by How'lyn and with him gone I shudder to think what Tau'erds will do. Consequently I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. One thing I do know is that until the day I die I will curse the automatic systems that brought the Atavui aboard. The damn things sensed residual Taelon energy and before I could shut it off they were in the landing bay. From there I had to bluff to save my skin. If I'd known then what I know now I would have just blown up the ship.  
  
Another of my fixations as both a boy and an adult was sci-fi fantasy. I loved reading about aliens and advanced human civilizations. Another one of the universes jokes I guess. Sitting here in the belly of an alien space ship I can't help but recall something one of those fictional characters said. He was in a position much like mine. He was sitting in the dark and crying. He said, "My shoes are too tight. But it doesn't matter because I have forgotten how to dance." I'm trapped here and even if I could escape where would I go? I have forgotten how to live. He was talking about love. That applies to me as well, but then living and loving go hand in hand don't they? I have nothing left. That raises the question of why I bother again and I find I still don't have the answer. All I know is I keep surviving while all else dies around me. 'Not for much longer though.' This time I let the wetness trickle down my neck.  
  
Skrill Queen  
  
My name is Margsath nevertheless I have not been called that name in what seems nearly an eternity. The Taelons thought of me as nothing more or less than the Skrill Queen and referred to me as such even though they knew I must have a real name. In all my years as a captive they never asked. Never cared. Now that I am free still no one speaks my given name, they have another for me, Mother. The first time I heard that word I thought my hearts would stop. I have given birth to thousands of children yet here in this strange world was the first time I ever heard it uttered. Before my children were taken as soon as they were delivered and immediately damaged in the Taelons "engineering". My poor children were retarded before they ever had a chance. After that all they would ever speak were baby sounds. Still I tried to comfort them from the distance making soothing noises in return all the while my hearts breaking.  
  
I look at my children now and my hearts are overfilled with joy. They are so precious and they have grown so fast. How I wish they could have seen our world, how long has it been since I was taken from there? I cannot begin to imagine the amount of time that has passed. My life for so long had consisted of the same routine year after year. After so many days of the same thing they blurred together. Then I lost track altogether. I gave up hope of ever escaping the cage that the Taelons had placed me in. I watched child after child's inner light become muffled or go out and every time part of me died as well. Never mind. I shook off the overwhelming memories of despair that once threatened to drive me insane. It does not matter my children my children will never see the world from which we came. They will never see the glorious red sky of our world or feel the warmth of our glorious springs. That is the way of the universe, to be unfair. I would never see my world again if it even still existed and neither would my children. But here we had a life outside of a prison and an extraordinary life at that. A life where we could live and love and not be afraid. A life I never imagined ever being able to live again. Nevertheless I was, here in this place where the man left us. He set us free the lonely man.  
  
He was no more than a child himself so lost and lonely. I could feel his heartache through our bond. I know the children felt it too even though they were not yet born. From him I learned what was truly transpiring on the other side of the glass. I learned of the Taelons plans to perpetrate the same heinous crimes on the people of this world as on mine and I learn the most important thing of all, English. Just as the human learned our tongue I learned his. I knew if we were to survive on this world than we must be able to make ourselves understood and knowing the language of the species around us would rise us above the title of 'creature'. I do not want to have my children treated as pets or lab experiments. The Taelons had not cared that we were sentient and capable of understanding their language when they took us from our world but I hoped that the humans would not subject us to the same living death.  
  
I watch my children as they play and learn and I cannot help but feel a sense of apprehension. Through my tie to the boy Liam I can tell that something has changed. Even though we were bonded for only mere moments the connection between bonded is never broken once established. On my world this bonding developed so that family members could communicate over the distances of our world. It is a bond that was never undertaken lightly for it could never be broken. It grows fainter when disconnected from each other but the link is always there a constant signal to the other that their partner is alive and well. I do not believe that he knew this when he bonded with me but I knew. He probably does not know how to open up to the feelings he may be receiving from me. That does not matter. He is my life- partner. I feel what he feels and I know he has come to an impasse. He needs me and I cannot let him down. I owe him too much. I owe him everything. So I prepare. I teach my children all the old ways, the ways of things before the Taelons, and the new ways, the ways of the humans, and pray that we will be ready. 


	9. Part 9

A/N Yes I know it's been a long time. A very long time. I'm sorry but writer's block hit me. I'm trying to hurry up and write a lot more to make up for it but the thoughts are just tricking out so you'll have to be patient.  
  
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One Month Later  
  
Sandoval  
  
I ran a stitch in my side and blood streaming into eyes. I was lucky that the only injury I had sustained was a deep cut above my left eye. Tau'erds moved faster than I'd thought. 'That'll teach me to assume things.' I chuckled mirthlessly. Then stopped as I found it hard to breath.  
  
How'lyn had proven himself a weak leader and the Atavui like any animal herd expelled the weak. The coup wasn't well planned but it was effective neither the less. The last I saw of How'lyn he was frozen, twitching on the bride floor. Tau'erds supporters had stormed the bride with liquid nitrogen guns. Spotting me Rie'tta aimed hers my way. Lady Luck decided that for one she liked me and her shot went wide. Extremely wide. It occurred to me at the time that she should really work on her aim. The hit instead landed on a control console and a hybrid standing next to it. We both stared in shock at in shock at the ice cover panel and the already dead hybrid for a moment then the console exploded. It rained shrapnel and frozen hybrid bits everywhere. A thick cloud of smoke also rose from the ruined circuitry obscuring my vision up to two feet. Coughing I used the confusion to escape.  
  
Zo'or became more and more paranoid towards the end, bordering on schizophrenic I think. He was afraid others would use knowledge of his scheming against him and would entrust various projects to me and only me completely forgetting that I was one of the people he feared. Other times he would conduct his agendas secretly clearly hiding them from me. The instillation of hidden portals was one of those projects I oversaw. Zo'or like many insane leaders of Earth's past felt he needed hidden personal escape routes to flee from any would be traitors and enemies. Heading for the closest one, right outside Zo'or's chambers, I tried to think of where I would run to.  
  
A question I had been asking myself constantly over last month. Most people would rather shoot me than help me. I had done a fine job making the world hate me. I had no power left to coerce some one to help as I used to do. I had no friends. Not even any colleagues who would be willing to help me out of kindness. Tate was always in it purely for the money. I held on to no false hope that the selfish bastard would do more than turn me in for any bounty on my head. I had no family either. Other than distant relations I only knew about because of my desperate search for a donor. That thought lead me to think about my only other relation: my son. After he saved me I vainly searched for him but it proved useless. No one saw who dropped off the blood because the deliverer knew exactly when the guards were going to change their shifts. The FBI search turned up negative so his blood wasn't one file. Not very common these days but still doable. All other avenues led to dead ends. The worst was I had no idea where to begin to look. Eventually I gave up hope. But still… Dr. Curzon. Throughout the search she helped and seemed sympathetic always encouraging me when it seemed nothing was going right. Now she…  
  
I snorted at myself. 'How pathetic have I become that I feel such hope at a few kind words someone once spoke to me?' Banishing that thought I leaned against the wall as I punched the exact spot to release the portal struts. The truth was I had no one else to turn to. I punched in my destination and stepped in to the transport area. If anyone had been around they would have seen my weary face light with a grim smile before the energy swept me away. 'I hope Tau'erds enjoys the presents I left for him.' 


	10. Part 10

Liam  
  
"Liam. Liam." I felt something shaking my shoulder.  
  
"Goo. Awayy." I mumbled swatting at the annoying sound. It seemed to work and after a few moments I sunk back into the comforting darkness of sleep.  
  
"BOO!" I shot up startled by the loud shout in my ear. The world still fuzzy I peered at a smiling Boone.  
  
"You are a cruel, cruel man." I grumbled. Boone's smile just grew wider.  
  
"Yes I know I'm a horrible, horrible person but…" He paused dramatically and I considered reinvestigating the inside of my eyelids. "I brought coffee." My eyelids snapped open and I focused on the two steaming mugs he had brought from behind his back. I grabbed one like a drowning man diving after a life preserver. 'The analogies not too far off.' I glanced around at the mess of my office. 'If one can drown in paperwork that is.' At first I just cradled the hot mug and breathed in the heavenly smell of COFFEE.  
  
"Oh well in that case… I take it back." I mumbled before I took a deep gulp. As the burning liquid washed down my throat I could feel the cobwebs clearing from my mind though I knew it would take at least another two cups after the all-nighter I pulled last night. Memory of multicolored energy and blood assaulted me. Inwardly I winced then shied away from the memories of last night. Boone had uncovered a chair that hadn't known existed under the paper. I blinked as he made himself comfortable. 'Boy you know it's been a long time since the maid service has been in if you can't remember what the furniture used to look like.' I shrugged it off and got back to the serious consideration of emptying my mug.  
  
"It wasn't your fault you know." I winced at Boone's bluntness but didn't look up.  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about." I didn't want to talk about it. Images of the Atavus chamber flashed through my mind but I shoved them back. I drained the rest of my coffee and found myself gazing at the bottom of the mug rather than face Boone.  
  
"He knew what he was getting into."  
  
"Tell that to Quinton." I shot back my voice full of anger. But it was too late he had broken through all the walls I'd built around the memories. Guilt flooded me and I was unable to hold back the memories as they consumed me. It was supposed to be an easy in and out operation to destroy a discovered Atavus chamber. Quinton and I had split up like the rest of the group after finding one of the Atavus chambers. I was on the other side of the room setting up my detonation charges like he was doing on his. I heard a creak and spun around but I was too far away and the Atavus was on Quinton before I could get five feet. The Atavus slashed Quinton's neck with his energy nails. Blood flowed from around the fingers Quinton had clasped to his neck. Gasping Quinton sunk to his knees. I snapped. Quinton was just a kid really and he was dying in front of my eyes. Dropping the bomb in my hand I focused both my shaquarava on the Atavus as it charged me hissing then coldly not once flinching fired. When the light faded there was nothing left of the Atavus. I swayed from the energy drain then swiftly crossed the feet between us. But it was all for not. All I could do was drop down next to him as he gasped one last time then all that was left was a shell that used to hold the animated and boundless spirit of Quinton Wuiden. I gently closed his eyes then took his ammunitions bag from him. I finished setting the charges then picked up his lifeless body and rejoined the group at the rendezvous point. I felt hollow as the others stared at my blood-covered person and their faces paled at the still form slung over my shoulder. A few nodded sympathetically. After counting heads I turned back to the hill containing the once hidden chamber and pressed the button.  
  
Breaking away from my memories I stared at Boone's grim face. "You can't save them all." His voice was full of past experience.  
  
My mug hit my desk with a muffled thud since it couldn't actually strike it through layers of paper. "I know that Boone but he didn't have to die…" Boone looked startled and I winced at my slip.  
  
Softly Boone questioned, "What do you mean by that?"  
  
"Exactly what you think I mean. These-" I held up my hands to show him my shaquarava. "Can heal." I lowered my hands and looked away.  
  
"You mean…"  
  
I nodded still looking at the other wall. "If I hadn't shot the Atavus. If I hadn't wasted my energy I could have saved him." It was so quiet I could hear Boone's breathing as he digested what I'd told him.  
  
He took a deep breath and said, "Listen kid," I was able to muster up a glare that I sent his way. He glared back and his definitely had more kick behind it. "Life is full of what if's. What if you hadn't fired on the Atavus with your shaquarava's? You know guns only slow them down. Could you have grabbed Quinton healed him and have gotten away? I doubt it. You'd be dead too. What if you'd used one hand? You might have had enough energy to save him but then it might not have been enough to kill the Atavus. You might have died before you could get another shot off. I can't think of one solution where you wouldn't end up dead as well unless you were extremely lucky." I could feel his gaze on me. "But it's that extremely lucky that's got you." My silence agreed with him. I heard him get up. "The desire to lead and the ability to are in no way related. I know you didn't want this Liam. I definitely didn't but you're a leader Kincaid. Quinton wouldn't have wanted you to die making a suicidal attempt to save him and you know that." I kept silent but I knew he was right. Part way anyway. Quinton believed in me he was one of the semi-hero worshippers who thought I was infallible. I winced at the thought. 'I'm not infallible and that's what's driving me insane. I don't like to lose.'  
  
"No one does Liam." I turned to him surprised. 'Oops. Must have said the last bit out loud.' Seeing I was finally looking at him again he nodded then headed for the door. Stopping at the threshold he twisted around a smile once more on his lips. "And Liam. My friends call me Will." Then he was gone. 'Since when did I graduate to friend?' I puzzled over it a bit then realized that I didn't really care. Friends were hard to come by and it seemed I'd just picked up one. 


	11. Part 11

Boone  
  
Pep talks were never my forte. I'm pretty sure I got through to Liam but I know I didn't have all the right words. I'm not sure if there really were any right words but I know that not matter what I might say nothing just stops the pain. One thing mystery to me is that I don't know when I started thinking of Liam as Liam. At first he was too much the hero everyone made him out to be. In my mind I kind of saw him as a younger Doors. Some one to follow and respect but not someone to get close to. Liam is different. He's a man who invites friendship. Look at how he changed Augur how he engendered loyalty from everyone he meets. He's no longer a stranger that's all I know and he's no longer just my boss but my friend.  
  
I stood sipping my coffee just outside Liam's door and watched as people scurried around me. The place used to look like a thief's den now it's so close to the old headquarter it's scary. Everything has become so organized and - efficient by god.  
  
When I first set off to start my independent cell I had no idea how much work it'd be. I was mostly involved in with the undercover thing and Doors general disapproval of me kept me from focusing too much on the organizational side of the Liberation. That aversion didn't help me when I found myself in charge. Too much time in those military organization probably. I was used to the right hand not knowing what the left was doing so I never considered it important to figure out just how Doors got so many rebel-minded people to get anything done. Or how/where he got the supplies to feed everyone or the spies to get his information. I didn't have a clue who to bribe and who to avoid. After watching Liam I realized I was rally out of my league. I find myself suddenly respecting Doors a whole lot more than I had when he was alive. I know now what I did wrong but even now I'm not sure I could have pulled it off. For one thing I would never be able to handle the paper work. Paperwork and rebellion are two words most people would put together but the amount that is needed to keep track of everything is staggering. I barely was able to handle what came with being a Companion Protector and the Leader of the Resistance had to deal with a whole level higher than that.  
  
What amazed most of all this though, and Liam too, was the rush of people that poured in when word got out he was alive. I know I was kind of hoping that he'd boost morale but I never dreamed for the reaction we got. So many people showed up crowding Liam's office to catch a glimpse of him ALIVE that he threw them out. A smile stretched over my face at the memory. He sulked for two whole hours like a little kid. He wouldn't let anyone in. They've taken to calling it "The Major's Great Rebellion." When he finally opened his door again the normal trickle came it with reports barely hiding their smiles. A ditty started circulation days later. " There was once a guy named Liam. And all the people came to see him. He took one look at the masses and threw them out on their asses." Liam took the teasing well only burin his head in his hands the first time he heard it. Lately he's even bucked up enough to give a pained smile when someone recites it. Augur took no such low key approach. He fell out of his chair laughing when he heard the story. Augur was running back and forth trying to get all the equipment we needed desperately at the time complaining and bemoaning the whole time so he missed it.  
  
I spotted Augur working furiously at one of the five double blind terminals he'd set up. 'I better let him know what happened. He's been worried ever since the mission.' I made my way through the throng to his side only bumping into one courier and two cooks, both who gave me dirty looks when they had to rebalance their loads. Standing behind the hacker I looked at what he had on the screen. It was a pro-Atavus web site. 'Shows there are crazies willing to worship anything.' I read further and shook my head at the vampire motif. "Well they've got the look and area as hard to kill as those blood suckers." Augur wasn't as deeply absorbed in his work as I thought because he nodded and said, "Too bad a good stake and garlic won't work. " He paused. "How is he?" Though he hadn't turned around I could read the worry in his voice. "Better I think. He took the kid's death pretty hard."  
  
"He was young." Only my training kept me from jumping as Liam's voice came from behind my shoulder. Augur had no such defense. He jumped then swiveled around in his chair and glared at Liam. While I stared at him in something akin to shock. 'Shit is he quiet.' I was worried though. I thought I'd cheered him up but his voice sounded so dead I began to worry again.  
  
"And you aren't?" Augur's voice was semi-accusing. I half turned to check if anyone was paying attention. 'Well no more than the usual.' A couple people were staring but they were too far away to be doing more than hero- worshipping.  
  
"I never had a choice." His voice was still too careless like he was talking about the weather.  
  
"Oh yeah? And what was he supposed to do? Chose to do nothing knowing what was going on?" Now Augur sounded practically furious. His tone was biting.  
  
"Damn it yes, if it kept him alive." Now I heard some emotion coloring Liam's voice.  
  
"He could never have done it," Augur said soothingly, " No more than I could or you could. If you had a choice would you have chosen any different?"  
  
"Yes. No. I don't know." His confusion and anger was clearly written on his face. 'That's it Augur get him angry. You can't be sad when you're angry.'  
  
"Yes you do." Liam took a deep angry breath then he let it out. He looked like a deflated balloon for a moment then he straightened up. A wry smile quirked the corner of his mouth.  
  
"Okay if we're done letting me act my age. Augur what have you got?" At once he was again the man who had pulled the Resistance back together and no longer the defeated figure he had been I could actually feel the mood lighten around me as the others sensed the change in their leader and activity sped up and conversation became more animated.  
  
I heard Augur mutter, "The angst, the angst." As he twirled his chair back around to face the monitor. Liam snorted. I hadn't thought he'd be able to hear but apparently Augur had pitched it so it was just loud enough for him to hear. Liam grinned sheepishly at me while Augur was busy clicking his buttons and working his computer magic to pull up whatever he wanted to show us. Augur tapped his screen and Liam and I moved practically shoulder to shoulder to squeeze in to see what had Augur so excited. "Alright we've figured for a while that there is a mole in the Flat Planet ever since Gere disappeared. "We just don't know who it is." 'Minor detail.' "It could be a hybrid or a human hired by Sandoval." I glanced at Liam but he showed no reaction to mention of his father. 'Of course he probably learned long ago to not react.' Augur who was more used to pretending Sandoval was nothing other than the enemy showed no sign of his concern except he passed him some read outs he tilted his head slightly. Liam gave a tiny nod. Augur looked back at the data. "Now you see this?" I squinted and was barely able to make out some faint black smudges on what looked like a bulletin board.  
  
"It says 'met 4:00." This time I didn't bother to be surprised. 'I guess I'm becoming jaded in my old age.'  
  
Augur nodded, "Yep, well our spy's getting his messages through this board." Augur grinned. "It's the last place anyone would have looked. This is an anti-Atavus discussion board."  
  
Liam looked at both Augur and me quizzically almost amused, "You think our spy has a sense of humor?"  
  
"Augur shrugged, "Who knows maybe it's just good tactics. This message," he taped the screen again, "is around five days old. According to my analyst of the intervals after I found the hidden messages the next one should be relatively soon."  
  
"Do we have a plan?" I asked. Augur shook his head. "We know when they meet but not where. If they let it slip then we'll have them."  
  
Sighing I stood up. "So we're relying on luck again? Seems like that's our whole strategy is based on luck. Luck that we'll find Atavus chambers. Luck that we'll be able to blow them up before they wake because we sure as hell can't kill them with what we've got." I rubbed my wrist where Raven used to be. "I seriously miss my Skrill. I sure could use Raven now." Liam straightened an gave me a funny look.  
  
"That just might be the answer." He rushed past me back to his office.  
  
Puzzled I turned to Augur. "What I say?" 


	12. Part 12

Cair'an  
  
How'lyn's been getting more and more frantic. 'I get the feeling he's losing control.' Still I have no choice but to report when and where he wishes. Sighing I shift on my stool and twirl the stick in my drink. This mini dress is very tight but it does get results. I smile at Tom across the room. He pauses in telling some brunette a story and winks at me, his grin growing twice as big. I nod back and take a sip of my drink. Eating keeps down my cravings even though it doesn't stop me from feeding. 'The taste isn't bad either.' I've discovered I do have a sense of taste though it is greatly diminished compared to humans. I shift my gaze around the dance floor of the Flat Planet looking for my other contacts. Coming to the Flat Planet is part of my schedule in gathering information. The other major sites I frequent are parks where I listen to people complain and gossip. Humans have such strange mannerisms but I believe I have mastered them.  
  
Tom, one of the first humans I met after being dropped here, was kind to me those first few days when everything seemed so strange. He assumed I was from the country, because of the way I'd gawk at the most ordinary things, and I thought I needed help adjusting to the city. I learned from that and used it as my model in dealing with humans. Let them believe what fits their own perceptions. It works rather well because most of the time humans are impatient and if you are slow to say something they will fill in the blanks you leave.  
  
I had to adopt a whole new personality to mix well with humans. My emotionless mask had shielded me from my people but was no use to me here where I had to be friendly and inviting to spy. I'm shy. At least that is what the people of the Flat Planet believe. I don't really know what shy is but supposedly I am. It's helpful because people are always taking me with them to group occasions to "bring me out of my shell". I did not know I was in one, another confusing human saying, but it is a handy excuse.  
  
I do not like what I am doing. At first I viewed it as a necessary though unpleasant task to stay off the Mothership. Now I loathe this. I know these people and I do not want to betray them. The first three I brought to How'lyn's attention I did not know more than casually and their fates had not concerned me past my hatred of violence. Yesterday though Matthew confided in me that a new leader has revitalized the Resistance. He confirmed he belonged to the Resistance; I had suspicions for a long time. It was the reason I initially tried to get close to him, and he asked me to join. It took him a long time to trust me, he said. Now that he does I would do just about anything to break that trust. Because if I turn him in…I believe I will think even less of myself than I already do. The thought of betraying someone who trusts me makes my insides feel cold. As if it is the worst thing I could ever do. Part of me is standing up and screaming "NOT AGAIN" at the very thought. I don't know where the feeling comes from but I know it's very real. I could use generals to deliver the information without specifically saying where the information came from, but I do not believe Sandoval will fall for that. He will wonder whom I am protecting. In the end, it would do neither Matthew nor myself any good. Yet if I report nothing I will soon be deemed useless and disposed of no matter how hard and long I've worked to integrate myself into human society.  
  
Tom has a saying about a rock and a hard place. I believe I am between those two now.  
  
Dr. Curzon  
  
A hammering at my door woke me. I clutched my robe ends and made my way to the door. I couldn't think of a single person who would be waking me up at midnight by coming to my front door. If it were the hospital they would have paged me. If it was anyone else, well picking up a global's a pretty easy task and I can't imagine anyone leaving their comfy bed to hand deliver a message. I didn't think to use the peephole. When I opened it on a dirty and bleeding figure with a gun clutched in his hand I cursed myself. My ex Kevin was always saying my unthinking actions were going to get me killed one day.  
  
Light headed I stared at the man in my doorway and thought, 'For once he was right.' I found all I could do was stand frozen in shock as whoever it was lurched forward into my living room. It took more effort than I would have thought for the burglar to shut the door I had let go of in my alarm. I winced at the sound it made slamming shut but it got me moving again. I slowly started backing up towards my desk. Giddily I thought, 'If he doesn't shoot me right now I might even make it to my global. Just ten steps more.' I snorted inwardly. 'It won't do me much good once he sees I've got it and he shoots me before I've even open it. Still I've got to try.'  
  
"Wait." I turned back to him. 'His voice is familiar…' I shook it off and focused on the man in front of me. He wasn't threatening me. His gun wasn't even pointed at me. No, his hand was extended towards me in a gesture of -he was pleading with me. Seeing my uncertainty his hand wavered for a moment, then he pulled back his hood. After my initial shock I debated whether or not to start for my global again. It was a short debate. I found myself going for my med kit instead. 'Oh come on Allison. He's betrayed humanity who knows how many times. He deserves a good kick you know where not some tender loving care from yours truly.' But in the end my medical instincts won out. I pulled Sandoval over to my couch and wrinkled my nose at the rank smell he omitted. I tried not to think of what my couch was going to look like later.  
  
"My God, Sandoval you sure rolled in it." I firmly began dabbing some of the mud or… well I really didn't want to know what he was covered in … from around the wound on his forehead. I wasn't as gentle as I could have been and Sandoval flinched several times as I dug out the dirt but I figured if I was going to do this I wasn't going to be nice about it. It was petty of me but it made me feel better. His eyes drooped shut so many times as I was finishing up I was beginning to feel as if I was bandaging up a bobber, one of those toys you keep on your dash board, instead of a human. Obviously he was exhausted. Sacrificing my sofa, I stood up and gently pushed him down 'til he was horizontal. He tried to struggle but it became apparent quickly to both of us that he was as weak as a kitten. Sandoval looked up at me with eyes full of pain, sorrow, and fatigue and I found my heart reaching out to him once again. "Get some sleep. Doctor's orders." I groaned inwardly. I had spoken with more kindness than I had intended. He nodded weakly and closed his eyes. Seconds later I tucked in a fast asleep agent.  
  
Glancing at Sandoval one more time I sighed, then made my way to the kitchen for some tea. After I poured myself a cup and sat down all my worries came to the forefront. Propping my head up on my hands I felt some of the tension in my head easing as the skin of my forehead stretched. My mother taught me this as a way to stop a headache. 'What the hell am I doing? And what am I going to do now? I know personally around a hundred people who would love to have his head on a platter. And what of the Atavus? You're no fool Alison. You know that's has to be who he's running from. I've heard all the tabloid sensation as easily as everyone else. Renee may not be the tenderest person but last I checked she wasn't insane. Liam's death didn't effect her that much.' I felt a pang at the thought of my former patient. I hadn't know him as long as Dr. Park or even Dr. Belman but I had liked and respected the man. When Renee first told me of his MIA status I'd irrationally thought he'd come back from the dead again. Now after all these months I'd pretty much realized it was just a physician's dream -- a friend's dream -- that he'd survived like Renee claimed. 'Do I tell him?' I stared at the wall that separated the kitchen from the living room trying unsuccessfully to get it to give the answers. 'There's patient/doctor confidentiality but Liam's dead and I know he always wanted to tell him. But if I do, how will Sandoval feel? He's tried to kill Liam so many times. How will he take having attempted to murder his child? It might be kinder not to tell him. Liam's dead. Maybe it is better to leave him the hope. But I'd rather know than wonder my whole life. Yee Gods, how did I go from considering turning him over to the police to wondering I should tell him about his son? For that matter why is everything a big question mark? And I became a doctor because I wanted answers.' I sighed again then leaned my head solely on my left hand and reached for my tea. 'Maybe I should have become an accountant like my mother wanted.' 


	13. Part 13

Alright everybody I know it has been forever but I've finally got some written and here it is. Now since I didn't feel up to creating a whole new language (skrillian) whenever the skrills talk in their native tongue it'll be in **. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- - Gossip  
  
In every organization, no matter how secret, the people talk, even if it's only too each other. It is an accepted fact so no one thinks much of the groups that would gather in corners and trade whispered tales. If they did usually they would join the discussions. "You hear about the last mission?"  
  
"Yeah I hear Quinton got it but the Major killed the Atavus who did it."  
  
"One out of fifteen isn't bad."  
  
Some one scolded the speaker. "Damn that's cold."  
  
"But true," A woman noted. "I hear that Renee's people it's the 'red shirt syndrome'." Seeing the confused looks all round she rolled her eyes. "Jeez you'd think in a group that fights aliens we'd have more than on Trekker. On Star Trek the Original series when the good guys would beam down you always knew the guys in red shirts were going to get it. Later on anyone who wasn't a lead, a fresh face, would buy it. Anyway I hear everyone but Renee's dropping left and right. Makes me glad I wanted to see Mister comes- back-for-the-dead Boone and signed up here instead of there."  
  
The others nodded. "You know I hear she's still hiring mercs." Disgusted they shook their heads. Bad memories still accompanied the time before the Major gave the mercs their walking papers.  
  
"I wonder how the Major killed that Atavus." A young man stated a pensive look on his face.  
  
Someone snorted, "Newbie." The boy flushed red with embarrassment at the others smiles. Kindly an elderly man next to him decided to explain it to him.  
  
"Son no one knows how he does what he does. Don't particularly care much anymore. He's like the family wizard, never hurt us with his tricks. Just accept the miracle and move on." Silence reined for a moment as everyone digested his words and silently agreed.  
  
"Augur had a fit the other day when Kelly spilled her diet coke on his hard drive. I didn't think someone could turn that color."  
  
Skrill Queen Margsath  
  
*Children.* I called. They came at my summons eagerly. My hearts pattered. They were so innocent living in this closed off world. They knew of the atrocities preformed on their siblings and me yet they had never experienced such things. All they knew were stories. Now they were gong to have to go out into the world. My children were no longer babies but I did not wish them to lose any of their youthful outlooks. At times like these I certainly feel like a mother though these were the first of my children I'd ever raised. I felt my bond-mate drawing closer. I subconsciously had been nudging him all this while to consider us in this dangerous time. My children and I could not hide away from the world; if it was in danger we must help. It is our world as well now. My father used to call me a loyal schemer. My bond-mate needs us and my children need this to establish ourselves on good terms with the humans.  
  
*Children.* I gazed at the twenty-two faces that I had raised, taught, and loved. *The time has come.* They remained respectively silent like good children. for almost five seconds.  
  
*Mother are your stories true? Will there be bond-mates.friends?*  
  
I purred at my son. *Jaztkit. Are you calling your mother a tale spinner?* His right tendril twitched at my teasing.  
  
*No mother just.* he trailed off but Pharisee, my second daughter, was happy to take over for him.  
  
*Just that you tend to exaggerate mother. Remember that time you said you saw a giant parrot that turned out to be only a foot tall?*  
  
*Or the time.*Gounan started and soon my children were listing ever minor mistake I had made in the previous two years. 'It is times like these that cause me to wonder why I enjoy being a mother.' My bond-mate has a habit of rubbing his forehead to relieve brain pains. Sometimes I wish that technique worked on skrills as well.  
  
*Children.* I said warningly. They quieted almost immediately. Nirkos kept reciting the incident with a rock I'd rather forget for a couple seconds after his siblings had stopped. "We are going to aid the humans with the threat. Do you remember the oaths?" There was a round of clacking confirming their knowledge. I began. *Times are serious. The fight must be joined. Nevertheless fighting is not a task for which all are suited. There is no shame in admitting one's limits. Those who will not fight express yourselves now.* I used the ancient words of the beginning. Tradition is strong among my people and I felt it would be better to start with a tradition to get us through. Silence fell over my children. They were serious now as was fitting for the warrior oath taking and letting.  
  
*I must resign from the fight, dearest mother.* Tharmon. He kept his tone calm as the ceremony demanded. I knew that hiss decision was a hard one to make. I had hoped for this. Thar was a studious boy. Violence was something he was not capable of.  
  
*You may resign retaining full privileges.* My voice also held no feeling. To do so would disrespect those who walked the paths of the past.  
  
*I must resign from the fight, dearest mother.* Qiarin, my most soft spoken child, recited the words. I had wished for her to remain behind as well. I felt both would not do well with the harshness of battle. I had discussed this with them before the ceremony. If none of us were to survive they would be able to carry on for our race. The Taleon engineers did not use genetic material from just one male skrill and me. They used many samples in hopes of someday breeding more. In captivity I never gave birth to a girl. They could not understand why. I believe they made up their own explanations. The reason is thus. I would not let a female child be created. Skrills have the ability to release the hormone to sustain females or not. I chose not to for any female child I might bare would end up living the hell I endured. If we were all to perish in this attempt their children would have to face the resulting genetic inbreeding but my children would not. I released these complicated thoughts and spoke the needed words.  
  
*Thou may resign retaining full privileges.*  
  
Srynbi spoke next, "I must resign from the fight, dearest mother.* Srynbi was my third daughter and last. Her decision was something I had no telling of.  
  
*Thou may resign retaining full privileges.* I waited but no more felt the need.  
  
*May our hearts beat true and our bond-mates watch our ties.* I completed the ceremony. It was an ancient ceremony repeated over and over by every mother on our home world. Our fights were against the Wguaoarlfs, a deadly species of animal that chose from sporadically to her together and attack. The designer of the oath felt the youngsters would be less reluctant to admit their shortcomings to their mothers than others. No one would deny a resignerer anything for people were needed to tend the home place. It was thought that those who could not stand the thought of death would not do well surrounded by it. The fighting would be different. The Atavus were just as savage as the Wguaoarlfs but they were intelligent. I would not begrudge my children their distaste. I did not enjoy the thought either.  
  
Boone  
  
I shacked another vine out of the way with my machete. With no clear path we had to fight for every step. I wiped the sweat collecting on my face away with my arm. Traversing through the jungle wasn't something I thought I'd ever do again. I hate the jungle. 'Why am I doing this anyway?' I glared at Liam's back. But since he was breaking the trail and consequently couldn't see me it didn't affect him as I'd hoped. Since it didn't affect him at all that was an understatement. ' I'm beginning to rethink our friendship.' He wouldn't even tell me why we were going to trek through mosquitoes, snakes, and vines bigger than me. He wouldn't even tell me which jungle we were trekking through! I don't know if I can trust him if he won't trust me. 'Then why are you following him?' I groaned. 'Because I do trust him.' I hacked at the growth with renewed gusto. Suddenly I ran into Liam. He's stopped right in front of me. Really irritated I was about to say something really sarcastic when he let out a breath and said, "We're here."  
  
For a moment I was struck by the awe and hope in his voice but since I couldn't see anything but his back I remembered that I was mad at him and snapped, "Yeah, well where's here?" I'd just started to like this guy but his secret keeping was bugging the heck out of me. "I mean there's not much of a view."  
  
"Oops." Liam moved forward. It took me a few moments to process what I was seeing. 'Oh, my.' I tried to take it all in. I ended up looking like an idiot with my head swing back and forth. There were Skrills, dozens of them. Pulsating and crawling along the jungle floor. Finally my mouth caught up with my racing thoughts.  
  
"Why? How?" Not very articulate true but still it was an improvement.  
  
I saw something flash across Liam's face. It looked like disgust. "Why? Because they're as sentient as you or me. The Taleons used their natural defenses to make them into weapons just as they were planning to do to us. How" Black Wednesday stole the Skrill Queen. I set her free." I was taken aback by how fiercely he talked about it. Like it was personal.  
  
"You have returned young one." I jerked. I hadn't noticed the approach of the skrill now at our feet. 'I didn't think they could move that fast.' I was struck by the weirdly modulating voice with which it spoke. The fact that it spoke English was stranger still. I felt like I'd entered the Twilight Zone. Liam crouched down and stroked the speaker's back. He whispered, "Yes I have." It's color changed to red as I remembered Condor doing when he was happy.  
  
Liam  
  
My first thought was, 'She's so small.' In my mind's eye I had been picturing her as I'd last seen her. Now I saw that she was the same size as any other skrill. I couldn't say how I knew it was her only that I did. Just like I knew she'd be waiting for me. Like a lot of times in my life I had to trust my instincts.  
  
"Liam. What is going on?" 'Uh oh Liam you got some splanning to do.' While I may have faith in my instincts I hadn't been about to tell Boone we were going into the wilds of the Amazon in the off chance that skrills were going to help us save the plant. At the time it had seemed like a good idea to just explain it all after we arrived in skrill valley. Rising I took in Boone's half overwhelmed half angry face. 'It definitely seemed like a good idea at the time.' I had to admit even in face of the consequences it still seemed like the most viable option. Boone's experiences with the skrills were always with the genetically engineered version. The Taleon skrills were obedient pet like creatures. I figured if I told Boone that the untampered with skrills were not only sentient but as smart as humans he'd be more than likely hesitant to believe it. With the proof in front of his eyes I hoped he would have a harder time denying the truth. First thought I had to actually tell him the truth.  
  
"The Taleons biogenetically engineered the skrills Boone. Their natural ability to discharge energy made them the ideal fodder for weapons. The only problem they could see was what good is a weapon that can refuse to fire? The skrill you had was a result of their tampering. They turned the skrill species into dogs, performing all night for a treat. The Taleons stopped their higher functions from developing and increased the semi symbiotic bond they could share with each other till they couldn't live without a partner. The Skrill Queen showed me all this when we bonded. She picked up our language as I picked up her's."  
  
"We are an intelligent people Mr. Boone." I smiled inside at Margsath's voice. It was a combination hiss-purr that rose and fell at odd intervals. Yet it contained a very motherly quality. "This threat could destroy us all, your people and mine. We have just started to live again I would not see us annihilated before we have a chance to grow once more. My bond-mate feels very strongly about this. My children and I shall help you fight these Atavus."  
  
"How?" Boone was shocked but I could see by the sharp look in his eye that he was thinking again. "Without a CVI how will we control-"  
  
"You shall not." Margsath's voice was very firm. I couldn't blame her. Control is another way of saying slavery. She softened. "Partners do not need control. They need only ask." Her head turned and she trilled in her own language. *Jazkit come here.* Another skrill scurried over.  
  
*Yes mother?* He said. I knew he was a male because of the slight ridge over his head.  
  
*Do you think this man will be a good bond-mate?*  
  
*He is.He is very tall mother.* Margsath made a derisive sound and Jazkit turned green the equivalent of a human blush. *He looks kind.* He hurriedly added. I watched silently trying to keep a straight face. Boone just looked confused.  
  
*You will be partnered if he has no objections. I told you that your mother was no tale spinner.* The male skrill turned a darker green. She switched back to English. "Mister Boone. Jazkit will be your bond-mate if you so wish it." Boone dumbly nodded. "Lean down." I smiled at the way Boone automatically followed her command. The male skrill hesitated then rushed to Boone. He positioned himself on Boone's right forearm. Then slowly eased his tentacles into Boone's flesh. A grimace of pain contorted his face then his eyes took on a far away look as they got to know each other. I smiled at the pair my own memories told me that unlike the rushed sharing that I had shared with Margsath this would take a while and be a joyful experience.  
  
*Young one.*  
  
I turned back to Margsath. *Yes.* I replied in her tongue but I had a feeling my accent was horrible.  
  
*Would you like to link? I know you do not need me to fight. Yet.* I understood. She was lonely. So was I. I had very few friends. Here would be one I could always trust. I bent down. 


	14. Part 14

A/N: Merry Christmas everyone. I'm sorry for the loooooong delay but there it is. I'm glad to announce that I've got the ending nailed down and now just have to work on it. So soon no more suspense or waiting. Again Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. ***  
  
Dr. Curzon  
  
'I ought to shoot that annoying bird.' Groaning I tried to sit up and found that something sticky had attached my face to the counter. 'Ick.' With an effort I peeled my face off the tiles. Using my fingernail, I scraped most of the stuff off. Then I looked at the brown gunk that had collected under the nail in disgust before wiping it on a napkin. 'This is the last time I fall asleep in the kitchen.' I looked around in confusion. 'Why did I fall asleep in the kitchen again? Oh yeah too tired to move.' I heard a tip tapping coming from my living room. I sighed and rubbed my eyes. My life was a lot more complicated than I ever imagined it becoming. Doctors are supposed to fix 'um up and send 'um home. End of story. At least I always thought so, till I met this family. Sandoval, the most hated man on the planet, was right now doing Lord knows what in my living room, and I had no idea what to do with him. 'Oh, you have plenty ideas what to do with him.' My mind betrayed me. 'That's not what I meant.' I scolded myself. Putting aside my ridiculous attraction I had no idea why I wasn't putting him out on his arse. Attraction had never gotten in the way before. Maybe it was the hurt I saw in his eyes, the same hurt I'd seen so often in his son's. They were so much alike. It had hurt me so to see Liam have to dance around his father, never letting him know their true relationship when it was obvious that all Liam wanted was for Sandoval to love him just a little. With Liam dead maybe this was my way of hanging on to Liam. Maybe deep down I thought if I kept his father alive I hadn't totally failed him. I knew Liam really loved his father. The way he risked himself time and time again to save him made that clear. He even revealed himself to me, an unknown with possible loyalties to his worst enemy, in case that self same enemy had a relapse and needed something more than a patch up. 'God that man dug into your heart and stayed there.'  
  
Pushing away from the counter I staggered to my feet. My old bones creaked. I felt old, older than I ever imagined feeling. Trying to get some movement, back I stretched my arms up above my head. After all, I had a dangerous fugitive in my living room. No use not being able to fight for the whole of five seconds I figured I'd be able to. The tapping continued. 'Oh hell. What am I going to do? I'm a doctor damn it, not God! I can't wave my hands and make this all better. I don't even know where to begin. I sure hope Sandoval's got some clue as where to go from here. ' I glanced at the wall separating me from the source of my concerns. 'Or we're in deep trouble. Well deeper trouble anyway.'  
  
'That clicking is really starting to got on my nerves.' I turned to look at the door separating the living room from the kitchen. 'I wonder what's going on in there.' I took a step forward and raised my hand to the knob then faltered. Angry at my fear, I berated myself. 'This is my house damn it! If I want to go in my own living room I can damn well do it!' Straightening my shoulders I turned the knob and stepped through the door only to stop short at the sight of a towel clad Sandoval seated at my computer. He'd jerked up at the sound of me entering and his eyes locked onto mine. In that first second when his eyes met mine I almost didn't recognize him. The pain and confusion that had clouded them last night was gone along with the hard aloofness I normally associated with the Companion Agent's gaze. They were replaced by an acceptance the likes I had not seen since the cure of cancer. Tearing my eyes from that frightening peace, I took in the rest of the man. Sandoval was always lean but now he looked like a malnutrition case. I could clearly count each and every one of his ribs. There wasn't an extra ounce of fat on him anywhere. Sandoval's hands looked huge connected to his bony wrists. The hollows in his cheeks and under his eyes that I'd attributed to exhaustion and dirt last night were more prominent and clearly not from dirt since it had all been washed off. "Sandoval." I started but I didn't know what to say. The man was dying by inches. I looked back up to find him gazing steadily at me.  
  
"I didn't have anything clean to put on." It wasn't an excuse. It was a statement. Confronted with his calm gaze I found myself nodding dumbly.  
  
"I'll - I'll go and get you something to - put on." I turned dazed by my emotions. 'God. My God.' My mind stumbled over what I'd seen as I gathered up some of Kevin's forgotten clothing. 'What's going on?' I couldn't make what I'd seen fit with what I knew. My mind was going around in circles stumbling along as it went. Finally it gave up, I couldn't make reality real.  
  
Numbly I started back to Sandoval. I found he hadn't moved since my departure but his face had taken on a dreamy look. I stood holding the neatly folded clothes in my hands as he started talking. It was like I wasn't even there.  
  
"I'm a walking dead man. My CVI is failing." My heart lurched. He was right. It was his death sentence. "I'm going to fix some of it before I go. I didn't have to guess what he was talking about. Sandoval's exploits are well known and sordid. I winced once more at the fact that I was harboring him at my home. " There's a spy in the Resistance, an Atavus," My breath caught at that, I knew the people in the Resistance. I didn't want to see them hurt, but he kept on talking like nothing had happened. "She is at outs with the current leader. He's setting up a trap to kill her." Sandoval gestured to the computer screen. "I'm going to help her. She knows how to contact the Resistance. I need to get to them, to tell them what I know, but if I try and go directly to them they'll shoot me before I can tell them anything." His reasoning was sound. I know personally the contempt most of the Resistance feels towards him. I can't help him. I was new and not particularly trusted, whatever contacts I had went up in smoke months ago.  
  
Once more I couldn't think of anything to say. I handed him the clothes softly as if trying to pass him a lifeline. Sandoval took them with the same reverence.  
  
"I sold my soul long ago trying to get revenge,' He looked me in the eye, "I don't believe this will buy it back. I don't think it will make me the hero I always dreamed of being. I wasted my whole life, did so many things to hurt, I just want my last act to be something to help." He got up slowly and headed to the bathroom. I closed my eyes and tried to keep the tears from spilling down my cheeks.  
  
Sandoval  
  
Memories haunt me. I've lost all control of what's left of my CVI. One moment I'm touching Dee Dee's face, the next I'm torturing an anti-Taleon speaker. I didn't tell Curzon the reason it took me so long to find the message board. I couldn't remember the web address. I didn't want her to know just how far gone I am. She is one of the few people that has shown me any kindness lately, I don't want her knowing that what I'm doing equates to suicide. Even if I was at top form, with no weapon that works on the Atavus what I'm doing is quite insane. But what I told her was true. I have to try. The odds of it working are slim to none. Cair'an might be the most trust worthy Atavus, but in all likelihood she'll turn on me if I do manage to rescue her.  
  
Augur  
  
In my mind I always saw skrills as, well, like dogs. Cute pets but be careful with them around the furniture. To have one talk at me, that was like having your pet poodle sit up and go "Please sir. I want some more." Startling experience to say the least. The fact that the skrill in question was attached to the kid's wrist at the time, now was a little disconcerting as well. Come on who ever heard of talking to a person's forearm? Chest sure, feet possible, but wrist? Still after a while we really got going. It didn't matter that Marggie was an alien attached to my best friend's wrist cause hell, she knew her computers! Being kept in a lab for heaven knows how long gave her a lot of time on her hands and a lot of opportunity to absorb what was going on around her. Result: she had knowledge of Taleon engineering I would kill for. But since Marggie was perfectly willing to share, murder was avoidable.  
  
"They what? Hmm that would affect the energy curve." I muttered to myself as I typed away.  
  
"It did. Fortunately it also caused a feedback loop several times before they were able to balance the flow correctly." Marggie had a real vengeful streak; an explosion of that size would have undoubtedly cost lives, even Taleon ones.  
  
"How'd they comp-" A soft snore interrupted me. Surprised I looked over to find Liam face down, arm sprawled towards me, fast asleep. I smiled faintly. It was a very Kodak moment. "I think we bored him to sleep."  
  
"Our friend has been overexerting himself lately. I engaged in this conversation in the hope that such a thing would occur."  
  
I nodded. The kid kept pushing himself. "You're sneaky. Wish I'd thought of it."  
  
"He's out like a light." I stifled a curse and spun around.  
  
"Jesus Will! Don't do that!" I glared at Boone who maddeningly didn't look at all penitent. He just pulled over a chair and sat down with a thud.  
  
"Well I'm done distributing our new toys," He held up his hands making the skrill on his arm visible, "no offense. But even the veterans are acting like this is an early Christmas."  
  
I snorted. "What do you expect? The Taleons were feared because of their tech. The Atavi now they're fighters, ones just about impossible for most," I glanced at Liam, "to kill. This is the first time in a long time they've felt like they can do something. Everyone likes to feel useful." He opened his mouth. Then shut it. Boone worked his jaw as if fighting against an invisible enemy. 'Oh oh.' I knew that look.  
  
"Renee sent a message." He continued sounding resigned. 'Yep. I was right.'  
  
"She still thinks you're the one in charge?" I could tell Boone felt something for our erstwhile blonde. I just wasn't too happy with her myself.  
  
He exhaled noisily. "We're still working on a need to know basis. Her cell's got more leaks than a rusty boat. We both know it; she just doesn't want to admit it. I don't want to give the Atavus any more knowledge about us than they've got already. They've been hitting more of a dead wall than us. However they got to a couple nests before How'lyn could."  
  
"That's good. I-" Boone got the strangest expression on his face then blinked.  
  
"What's that?" He pointed behind me. Spinning my chair around again I faced my computer to see a blinking red skull in the right hand corner of the screen.  
  
A supreme sense of satisfaction spread through me. "Gotcha." I whispered to myself. I called up the web page with a click. To Boone I said. "Oh nothing. Just a little message from our resident spy."  
  
"Really?" Boone drawled. Our losses from this spy weren't terribly bad but they still had hit us where it hurt. I began reading the message and whistled.  
  
"Boone you think our new friends would mind a little test run?" He got up and looked at the message over my shoulder. I was answered by a feral grin. It was at times like these I remembered why Boone is considered one of the most dangerous men on the planet. 'They really should have left him dead.'  
  
Cair'an  
  
The alley was dark and dingy. Fog swirled around my feet. My reinforced heels clicked ominously as though heralding my departure from this world. When I read my orders I knew I would die today. Never once had How'lyn ordered a face to face before. I knew my omissions and decrease in reported information would eventually lead to this. The thought of running crossed my mind, but only for a moment. I knew that inevitably I would die. How'lyn could not permit me to live. If I continued to live I would become another sign of his weakness. How'lyn hoped to find an ally in me, in sending me away from Tau'erds he hoped to gain my gratitude, but it was now clear to him I had no intention of helping him. 'You could plead with him for your life. Offer him everything he wants.' I slammed that thought down and crushed it as soon as it formed. I would die with my honor. Not live as a sniveling coward who would betray her friends to save her skin. Something whispered in me. One of those half formed memories. It felt like I had done that before and regretted it. 'All the more reason not to.' I would not die without a fight though. Instead of my usual alluring attire, I was wearing a sensible loose pair of jeans and T-shirt. My three-inch heels were reinforced with steel rods. I had found wearing other types of shoes, such as sneakers, was uncomfortable for me because of my anatomy. I must stand on my toes. So I asked around for ways to make my shoes more useful in a fight. The result was steel heels. Still I imagine I will go down with a whimper. How'lyn is at least my double in strength.  
  
I have put my mask back up. If I am to die, then my enemies shall not see fear on my face. I will be the implacable foe they could not terrorize into cooperation. 'Pretty words, mon chere, but you are here.' Sighing I swatted the voice away. 'I knew I shouldn't have let Tom talk me into that film.' The rich voice of the Cajun costar had been popping up in my thoughts ever since. In the end the voice was right though. I had reached the meeting point. All that is left is to wait.  
  
After ten minutes I concluded it was fortunate that cold did not affect me as severely as my fellows, as the air had taken on a decidedly chill feel. I also felt glad that I did not require respiration. Seeing mist come out of my mouth did not fit with the image I'd been building of my last moments. Abruptly I felt hands roughly gripping my arms, pulling me back. Both my arms were fastened behind me before I could move. 'Cowardly, they come from behind.' Maybe it was foolish of me but I expected more from How'lyn. I knew that my ambushers were holding me for him though he had not yet put in an appearance. I had no intention of waiting for the cretin to show up and pass judgment on me. I went limp in my captor's arms. "The oldest trick in the book" Tom told me when he showed me some basic self defense that first week "but an effective one." I had quickly learned all the tricks Tom could add to my repertoire. As they scrabbled, trying to regain their grip on me I did a sweep kick with my right leg knocking the one on my right side to the ground. The left one was now supporting all my weight, admittedly not much compared to the hulk holding me up, but it had him off balance. I gave him a shove to the middle with my now free right arm. As he was forced to let go of me, I went down, rolled with my fall, and scrambled to my feet. I took in my first holder, Gorth. I believe we had an argument once about bedding space. He had already gotten to his feet. The second I knew for sure was Kwr'uit, a wretched male who loved nothing more than making others hurt. He was already regaining his balance. Both of them could make two of me easily. 'How'lyn has picked his brutes well.' Warily watching them, I was once more caught from behind.  
  
Liam  
  
Using the night vision binoculars from my kit, I focused on the alley. 'Shit.' I watched as a woman shook off two Atavus restraining her and then backed away slowly; only to see her get shoved from behind straight back into their arms. She struggled for a bit then stood motionless as the third Atavus stalked towards her. "Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" I asked in a whisper through the radio.  
  
"Yeah," Boone whispered back, "Think that's the leak?"  
  
I nodded, then remembered it was too dark for Boone to see me without taking his eyes off what was happening below us. "I think so. Looks like she's having a falling out with her employers." I shuddered as one of the Atavus' hands trailed down her face then began moving lower. "Also looks like they're pretty well distracted." I winced again as the woman bent over, taking a blow to the stomach. "Move in." I ordered the people set up around the alley. I heard the clicks over the line in confirmation.  
  
Cair'an  
  
"Tau'erds." I took pride in the even tone of my voice. 'How'lyn finally lost control. Along with everything else I imagine.' I had expected my death but now I expected my torture. I looked Tau'erds in the eye, standing straight before him, no longer fighting my captors. He would not get the satisfaction out of seeing me cowed or squirming. He said nothing as he slowly caressed my cheek but I could see the lust in his eyes, and the hate.  
  
"You know you are not a true Atavus." He voice was husky with cruelty. Inwardly I was taken aback. I'd always felt like I didn't really belong but. Outwardly nothing slipped through my mask. I could tell by the disappointment that flashed across Tau'erds' face. He reminded me much of How'lyn. Same build, slightly taller, hair a little darker, face a little narrower more defined, but both of them had no skill at masking their emotions. Tau'erds hand moved down my neck towards my chest. I struggled with my instincts to keep still. I was restrained and if he wanted, Tau'erds could easily do far worse than grope me. He leaned in close, lips brushing against my ear. "The true Atavus had laid asleep in that chamber for eons. The only good thing that your kind did was wake us up. You filthy product of Taleon, Jaridain, and human DNA. " His hand reached my breast. I barely controlled a gasp as he crushed it in his hand. "You're a smutty mix of our weakened and contaminated descendents. All we had to do was run a check for human DNA on your things. Right now we're rooting out your kind. You're the first, my pretty. But we will be pure again. Then we will conquer these humans without the pathetic Kimera taint that has been holding us back." I couldn't resist any longer. He was pressed up against me, so close. I brought my foot up and stomped down with all the power at my disposal. I heard something crack as my steel heel landed on the top of Tau'erds foot. He staggered back and I spat in his face.  
  
He looked at me in shock. I gathered my dignity around me like a cloak. Staring straight into Tau'erd's eyes I delivered the longest speech I ever had spoken to one of my fellows. "I brought no weakness to you. You are your own weakness, Tau'erds. Beaten by a female and afraid to fight her alone again." No emotion tinged my clipped words, I was glad to hear. It was more a strain than usual. Enraged, Tau'erds fell upon me. The reference to our earlier fight and the cowardly measures he had used to handle me caused him to lose his fragile control. He jabbed his claws into my stomach, yet drew no energy. He just let them slide into my flesh. This time I was unable to stop the gasp that fell from my lips. Pain burnt through me and I fought to stay on my feet.  
  
Boone  
  
Liam gave the order and started moving in. I dropped my line and started repelling down right behind our fearless leader. I heard the crack of an energy weapon below. 'No way that was one of us. Liam just gave the order, besides the Skrill people are supposed to get first crack cause this is a test run.' Twisting my neck, I saw a man had shot the Atavus with his fist in the girl's stomach along with one of her holders. She was being held in a headlock, as a shield. I could see the other two were rousing and I speculated that the shooter could too because, as I watched, he took careful aim and fired. The shot was perfect and the last Atavus crumpled, leaving the girl to sway in place until the mystery man grabbed her elbow and started dragging her off.  
  
There was a click as my headset came back on. I glanced over at Liam as his voice spoke into my ear. "Okay people, Team Alpha finish off the Atavi," I knew that they must have been disappointed, they were expecting a fight not clean up, but no one actually groaned over the line, "Team Beta, after our leak." I shook my head. 'Great, I get to lead the chase.' The cut off click got me started again. A couple more drops and my feet were firmly planted among the filth of the alley floor. I signaled to my team and we headed out after the rabbits. Behind me I heard the Skrills firing. I couldn't help the feeling of bitter satisfaction that fell over me. Shaking it off, I focused on the hunt.  
  
'This place is a maze of alleyways and condemned buildings.' The worst part of town to be looking for anyone. Still our prey didn't have much of a head start and one was injured. It didn't take long for one of my guys to spot them. I gave the order to surround them. The man was crazy enough to attack three Atavi when he obviously knew his weapon would have no lasting effect. I hoped that surrounding him would be enough to show him it was hopeless. After all, my people wouldn't get up again if he shot them. When I joined my team in leveling my gun at the duo, I got maybe the biggest surprise of my second life. The pretty girl was holding on to Sandoval's arm for support. 'What's going on here?!' The dark and my mask covered my shock as Sandoval surveyed our hidden faces. Slowly he raised his hands, letting his gun dangle from his finger, then dropping it. It landed on the pavement with a clatter. I glanced down at the weapon, finding it hard to believe that he'd just surrendered to us. Then I looked back up at Sandoval and almost believed I was hallucinating when I saw the half smile playing on his lips.  
  
"Take me to your leader." You could have knocked me over with a feather when he said that. To my further amazement Sandoval turned to the girl clinging to him and said, "I always wanted to say that." She looked at him with an extremely confused look on her face that I was sure mirrored the one I would have found on my own. 'Oh boy.'  
  
Liam  
  
I glanced over at my handcuffed father and spy and found myself tremendously grateful that Boone had insisted on the masks. I couldn't face the man, not now, maybe not ever. With the mask hiding my face, I could avoid the questions, and my turbulent emotions.  
  
Taking care of the fallen Atavi had been easy. They'd been wounded and not thinking lucidly when they attacked us, enraged. The boost of morale that came from that victory quickly evaporated when faced with the Resistance's most longstanding enemy. Now everyone was restless and at loose ends. Sandoval had apparently surrendered and while most of the people around me would love to see the ex-agent to his final resting place, they couldn't bring themselves to kill an unarmed man.  
  
I turned back to Boone, conflicted about what to do. I wasn't impartial and I knew it. Apparently so did Boone. He nodded. "I'll take Sandoval. You take the spy." Relief flooded through me and I nodded back.  
  
"Agreed."  
  
Boone waved to his team who were standing guard over the prisoners they'd captured. I looked to Vincent, who turned on the temporary portal. Boone's team and the prisoners went through first. I waved my people through next. I was suddenly all alone in the alley and for a moment I entertained the thought of running away, leaving the mess for someone else, but even as I thought it I knew I couldn't. It wasn't in my nature.  
  
*We never grow old enough to stop desiring the approval of our parents, Liam. All will be well.* The soothing thrum of Margsath's words didn't disguise their mothering context. I never spent much time being mothered, but I recognized the tone. 'I forgot. I'm not really alone anymore.'  
  
"I've been fighting him my whole life but I'm still afraid of what he thinks of me." I shook my head ruefully at myself.  
  
*I know.*  
  
I sighed at the unfairness of it and stepped through the portal, which sparked and disintegrated behind me. 


	15. Part 15

Boone  
  
When Liam restructured my-our cell I found him taking the time a resources to build interrogation rooms into our warehouse HQ pretty odd. You couldn't really question Atavi or hybrids after all. I winced a little at trying to get anything out of either of them. I didn't question his actions though. I figured he was just doing it because tradition and conventional wisdom called for them. I could sympathize with his need for stability. Besides that I was so eager to hand him the whole mess I wasn't about to do anything that might make him reconsider. 'I sure didn't want *that* job back.'  
  
I looked at Sandoval through the one-way mirror and shook my head. My former boss looked like death warmed over. Which led me to believe the Atavi hadn't been treating him too well. Though that brought me to the question about his presence in that alley. If I'd read the situation right he'd been there on the side of the spy not the Atavi he was currently playing dog for.  
  
Sandoval wasn't the type to forget such important facts as guns not killing Atavi either. He had to known the Atavus he'd shot were going to kill him when they got up. So what was going on?  
  
I sighed and shook my head at the awkwardness of my situation. Part of me was enraged with Sandoval for both mine ad my sister's sakes. I wasn't quite sure what I'd do if he started taunting me with his usual cold arrogance. He knew me far too well for my taste while I knew only out of date information. I'd almost handed him over to Liam, who I'd reasoned knew how to get to him, but then I saw the look in his eyes. As much as my sister was my last line to humanity I get the feeling Sandoval is even more so to Liam. If I'd tried to shrink away from this duty it would have fallen to Liam. I was sure he would have done it but I wasn't that cruel.  
  
Sandoval still hadn't moved for the position he'd taken since deposited in the interrogation room. I hadn't really thought he would. He deliberate control used control used to unnerve me. 'Well he's not going to get interrogated without an interrogator. Better get in there.'  
  
I gripped the cold knob and took a deep breath to call my calm to me. I swung the door open and entered the room. Sandoval's face ticked as he recognized me but it quickly smoothed out into the emotionless mask I was more than familiar with. He nodded calmly, "Boone. I assumed you'd stay with the resistance." He placed his shackled wrists on the table in front of him and I noted how fragile his wrists were. I tried one of his strategies and waited for him to say more but Sandoval seemed satisfied with that statement so the silence stretched. In fact overall I'd say he looked satisfied in a way that concerned me more than his cold aggressiveness ever had. I couldn't place it but that look was familiar.  
  
Internally I shook my head deciding I couldn't play last line. I gathered myself to interrogate the master. Only I was beaten to it.  
  
"How'lyn is no longer in charge. An Atavus named Tau'erds led a coup. However you ran into him during the raid, I assume he is dead." He raised an eyebrow and glanced down at my wrist where Jazkit was firmly attached then continued. "They're performing a genetic purge up there because they discovered that some Taleons and Jaridains merged into Atavi. Things will be pretty chaotic now with out a leader. Even if they manage to override the power shut down I initiated. The codes for the Mothership systems should be in my jacket over there." He pointed with his shackled hands to his jacket on another table.  
  
Part of me was suspicious crying out that this was too easy and a trick but my people had already checked him for weapons. I retrieved his jacket and pulled a data crystal from the pocket I knew it was in. My team hadn't checked the contents just confirmed it was a data crystal.  
  
I turned to him holding the crystal. My doubts even greater. This was too easy and anything involving Sandoval was ever been easy. "Why are you doing this Sandoval." My suspicion was clearly heard in my voice.  
  
Sandoval gave me a small smile. "I was always a survivor Boone. You might not full realize the lengths I would go to for that since I've only really shown that trait off since you've been dead. But I never should have done what I've done. I've killed, blackmailed, tortured; the list goes on and on Boone. And I did it all just so I could survive for my revenge." Sandoval waved his shackled hands in front of his face. "I saw red for so many years Boone. Dee Dee was dead and all I had left was my anger. I literally couldn't feel anything else. I wanted the Taleons to HURT. Whatever it took to do that didn't matter. But the red finally cleared Boone and I see what I've done and know in the end I sold my soul. I've got a reservation in Hell, but I wanted just for one moment to feel like the man I used to be the man who was willing to die doing the right thing."  
  
There weren't any tears in his eyes and he didn't look away. I could read his sincerity on his face. It threw me. Sandoval was being honest. "What the hell is going on?" I demanded shocked.  
  
"You should have let me go the first time. I would have liked to have died in Dee Dee's arms." Sandoval gave me a small smile then collapsed forward his body seizing.  
  
Carin'an  
  
The pain from Tau'erds claws seemed at first to rip through me. Crashing into me again and again. I'd never felt such pain and as a result I had no clue how to deal with it. I let myself be lead first by Sandoval then by the strangers who now held me more grateful than anything else. In the end I found myself occupying a little room with a big mirror. By that point I had begun to recover and was a little exasperated with my situation.  
  
My rescue was perhaps the must unexpected thing to ever happen to me and now I was at a loss as what to do. I couldn't go back to the Mothership and I couldn't join the Resistance. I could go on pretending to be a human for a little while. if the people holding me didn't decide to dispose of me.  
  
I was also unsure which mask to use now. I was being held by humans presumably I should don the personality I had used to my advantage while trying to infiltrate the Resistance. Yet that mask felt bitter and cracked. I'd caught glimpse of Tom before being placed in this room and somehow I just couldn't bear the thought of playing the part that had betrayed so many people's trust.  
  
That decided I pulled up the ruthless indifference I had used among my fellows. I banished the cheerful naive girl who promptly shattered like the frail crystal deception she was. I felt a wave of bitterness directed towards her. She had been every thing I could not be and I had taken some joy from playing her. Yet I had envied her so, just as I had despised her for what she represented. She was tainted the not so innocent acts she had performed. I was very confused inside. Mourning the shade yet hating her at the same time.  
  
Liam  
  
I faced the woman before me with an impassive look on my face. The woman before me wasn't beautiful in the classical sense. Her dark hair was a sort of blue black and her luminous blue eyes stared out at me from a bronzed face. Looking at her was like looking at an exotic painting. Even her movements seemed foreign. 'Which must have come in handy.' I thought bitterly.  
  
Tom Sullivan, one of my best recruiters, had shakily informed me as soon as he'd seen the prisoner that he'd been courti8ng her for weeks and that she knew more than I'd like.  
  
My insides churned just as they had every time I contemplated the good men and women I'd lost because of spies. It was a bitter irony that the thing I despised the most were spies when I myself spent my life spying on those I'd Protected.  
  
Containing my disgust I marshaled my arguments. Spies naturally had to have some intelligence to succeed at their jobs. If the facts were laid out correctly and logically her own intelligence might force her to tell me everything she knew. And this spies had some definite incentives since it seemed her former employers wanted her head.  
  
""Liam." My eyes widened in surprise. I hadn't identified myself and I had doubted very much she would recognize me from the little footage shot of me during my Protector days.  
  
I stared at my prisoner. She seemed confused, disoriented, but her squinting gaze was focused unwaveringly on me. It was as if she was trying to see well enough to figure something out. Suddenly her whole posture changed. She straightened her back yet became more relaxed and comfortable in her skin. Her confusion disappeared and something else replaced it. It was as if a completely different person was sitting in front of me.  
  
"Liam." She repeated and I noted her voice had changed as well. Smoothened, deepened, and gained a confidence and maturity that was almost regal.  
  
I felt a shock of recognition hit me. 'That voice- It can't-' I stared at the woman across from me feeling numb among other things.  
  
"Da'an." I whispered. She smiled at me. That serene smile I had seen hundreds of times on another face.  
  
"Yes."  
  
Carin'an  
  
Then HE walked through the door. It was like when I looked at Sandoval only a thousand times stronger. Part of me cried out at the sight of him pushing against a wall inside I hadn't realized was there. I squinted looking at him trying to bring all the shadows I saw dancing around him into focus.  
  
"Liam." The name came from my mouth without ever my consciously knowing it. Inside the wall vanished.  
  
I smiled at the dazed young man sitting across from me and said once more, "Liam." This time sure in the meaning of the word. I reveled in the knowledge of who I was. Shifting I settled into my skin. Everything was new yet at the same time it was all I had ever known. The feel of air on my skin! Actual skin! I reached out to share the experience only to find silence. I searched my head and heart but I was alone.  
  
I gazed into the emptiness afraid yet at the same time I knew that emptiness. It was very strange. I searched for remnants of the Jaridain who had entered the chamber with me but found only trace of his personality. The strongest core of him -Carti- lingered within my hunting instincts. I recalled the conflict of my early days and how it had stopped. I truly was alone in my own skull. I had a skull. All of my musing took no longer than an eye blink. Liam meanwhile got over his own shock.  
  
"Da'an?" I smiled happily as he said my name solidify my grip on who I was. 'I'm Da'an. I'm Da'an.' After so many months of wondering I *knew* who I was.  
  
"Yes." 


	16. Part 16

Skrill Queen  
  
The knowledge of exactly who was sitting before me crashed through my link. Liam's shock, relief, happiness, anger, and a whirlwind of other emotions swept through rapidly leaving me confused. And what Liam felt was quite a bit worse since they were his emotions and therefore he lacked the emotional detachment that I profited from when it came to analyzing his heart. However his overwhelming feeling of joy almost covered over the other less distinct feelings swirling around in his soul. Joy that his mentor was not gone. Well gone completely.  
  
I put my own feelings aside.  
  
For all his responsibilities Liam was still a young one. And because my own emotional response was not so jumbled as my bond mate's I could not risk him feeling it.  
  
Before me was one of my captors. Maybe not the one directly in charge of my cage but a Taleon- or former Taleon nevertheless- who had held me for so many turnings. The great love for my bond mate was all that kept me from acting on my impulse to remove this 'Da'an' from this plane of existence.  
  
It helped that the form of this Da'an was no longer Taleon. It helped a great deal.  
  
Da'an  
  
He was wearing blue. That was the first thing that impinged on my mind. The second was that I was glad for his sense of timing. He had jut burst through the door when two seconds before I wouldn't have recognized him at all. The third was that he looked rather flustered. His eyes latched onto Liam and he opened his mouth as if to talk but nothing came out.  
  
"Liam.." He started but seemed at a loss for what to say next.  
  
I frowned as one of my newly reacquired memories pointed out a rather disturbing fact to me. "Aren't you supposed to be dead?"  
  
Boone started and looked at me as if he just noticed I was in the room. "I got better," he murmured to me. The he turned back to look at Liam his whole face contorted in sympathy. "Sandoval's CVI-"  
  
Boone never had a chance to finish. Liam almost knocked him over in his rush to leave the room. I couldn't move. I wanted to jump up and wrap myself in around Boone. I wanted to feel safe in his arms. I wanted a thousand things I couldn't put a name to but desperately felt. 'What's going on with me?'  
  
Boone glanced at me one more time looking frustrated then disappeared through the door. Which I heard lock with a click.  
  
Boone  
  
The scene before me was eerily familiar. Sandoval was strapped down with monitors clipped to his forehead. The only new addition was Liam's tense form standing over his father listening to the steady sound of the heart monitor. Liam looked up from Sandoval's still form and sent a pleading look at the base doctor.  
  
Dr. Georgina Sampson motioned for us to step away from Sandoval. I didn't see much point. Unless she thought that getting Liam away from Sandoval would help him get a handle on his emotions. Liam glanced down at Sandoval's sweat covered face then followed us to the far corner of the room.  
  
The doctor gave Liam a sympathetic look. She didn't know why Liam was so affected by Sandoval's condition. She was a new recruit, but she could read the pain and hope Liam was feeling. "I'm sorry Major. There's nothing that can be done. There isn't enough of his CVI to even consider administering the anti-CVI virus. This breakdown has been very through and very slow. His synaptic pathways are already collapsing. He has under twenty minutes before he starts hemorrhaging to death."  
  
Liam stood stock-still. He couldn't seem to bring himself to say anything as though if he stood still and didn't say anything it wouldn't be true. The awkward silence stretched on. Liam refused to say anything but if I were in his shoes I wouldn't want this young doctor there gawking at me as I watched my father die. So I nodded to the doc.  
  
"Thank you doctor." I said in a clear dismissal. She hesitated glancing at her patient then returned my nod and left the room.  
  
I gripped Liam's arm trying to communicate my sympathy and support. Liam looked up at me with wounded eyes. "Sometimes noting can be done." I turned to look at Sandoval. A memory drifted in from the past and I found myself echoing Dr. Belman's words. "You can't unfry an egg."  
  
"Watch me." Liam growled out and I whipped around surprised at the resolve and challenge I heard in that growl. Liam had lost his stricken look and replaced it with hard-edged determination. A bright light flashed almost blinding me then dimmed and I looked down almost unsurprised to see his palms lit up. He turned and moved to stand by Sandoval's bed.  
  
"Liam.." I called worried. Quinton flashed through my mind. If he tried and failed.. Liam glared at me then placed his hands on either side of Sandoval's head.  
  
I stared at the still form bent over his father and felt my heart beat with sympathy. I too had a father at one point. 'I'd better get Augur. If Sandoval doesn't make it he's about the only one who might be able to pull him back from the edge.'  
  
Augur  
  
I didn't go on the raid. One: I had no Skrill. Two: I wasn't suicidal enough to want one. That would put me in the fighting corps. Not my scene. I may be willing to do a lot for my friends but I'm no fighter.  
  
I also wasn't there to se the triumphant hunters because waiting around anxious and trying to hide it made me feel way too much like a mother hen. I stayed in my tech room waiting like a mother hen watching for her chicks to come home safe and trying to hide it. Waiting for Liam to come in and tell me he was alright and that he'd been a good boy and shot a bad guy for me. Therefore I missed the prisoner parade and ensuing shock.  
  
As I stared at Liam's statue impersonation I couldn't help but think back.  
  
"I was the first person he ever did that for you know." I whispered. I wasn't sure why. Like a guy working with a bomb I couldn't bring myself to talk in a normal ordinary voice. Boone turned to look at me a question written across his face in big blazing letters.  
  
"He was going to kill himself." I tore my eyes away from the tableau of my young friend working himself to the bone trying to save his father. Boone looked positively run over. Me, I wasn't sure why I was telling him this. Liam protects secrets fiercely, sometimes I think ashamedly, and respecting his wishes I don't usually talk about the things that happened. I stared straight at Boone. 'Maybe I want to play confessor for once. Maybe I want someone else to know all the stuff he's given up. Maybe I want someone else to see him the way I do.' Whatever the reason I felt the story bubbling up inside me unwilling to stay untold. "He thought he was going to go crazy and slaughter everyone. The Taleons developed this device to disrupt brainwaves and they had it aimed at the kid's head. He didn't know I faked his profile." I looked back at Liam. "His brainwaves were to different. I used Doors. Thought it was a great joke." I shook my head.  
  
Damit. The kid was so scared! He thought he was going to be a murderer. For Christ sakes he was only days old and he thought dying would be the best thing! I still have the note he wrote me. I know why. Because I knew how dangerous his job was. The man beside me certainly proved that. It was kind of my lucky charm. If he could survive his best efforts then everyone else was going to have a heck of a worse time.  
  
I was pulled out of my memories when Liam suddenly spun around and folded up, his head and hands resting on his knees.  
  
Margsath  
  
*Boone is only concerned for you.* I myself felt apprehension over my bond mate's actions. However I could feel the deep intertwining of Liam's soul with his father. My bond mate was not the type to embrace the Dark but I could feel if Sandoval were to leave this plane a large part of my bond mate would be ripped away with him.  
  
As a race my people long ago embraced the ties that bind. Even if they did not share bonds like we do humans invest large amounts of their souls to others just as Skrills do.  
  
Liam's inner voice was affected by the strain he was putting on his body. *I know Maggie. But it's not like I haven't done this before.*  
  
I quickly grasped the memory he was sending along our link. I analyzed it. *True. However Augur's energy was only disrupted and his heart stopped. Your father is much more extensively damaged.* I could feel sweat forming on my bond mate as he forced his father's brain to change from the consistency of churned mud into it's proper springy *mertix*- I searched Liam's mind briefly for a human comparison- sponge like form.  
  
*I have to-grunt- try!* Liam was faltering. His energy flowed out of him in an effort to salvage his father's life.  
  
I thought of my children. Of all those I had lost and what I would do to save those I had left and I found my decision to be an easy one. The only one in fact I knew I would be able to live with.  
  
*I know you do,* and I joined my energy to his.  
  
My mind flooded with images as I flowed along the path of our joined energy. It could have been hours or days before I was thrown back into my own mind. I felt spent as if I had fired my deadly blasts one too many times. Liam's exhaustion mirrored my own but it was also filled with a sense of satisfaction. He turned and let gravity pull him to the ground slouching forward having no energy left.  
  
*We did it.* He whispered. His was mind pushed to the limit and he didn't bother putting forth the effort to send more clearly. *We-* he stopped as a million thoughts cascaded in his mind forming a pattern.  
  
Liam straightened and faced the two men, Boone and Augur, I had not even realized was in the room. "I have a plan." 


	17. Part 17

**A/N: Hello. If you are reading this- DAMN you are patient. I'm not sure if I'll ever finish this. The downfall EFC suffered with the Renee Death season having killed most fans. But I am trying. If only to get one more unfinished story well you know.**

**Thanks and any threats and or pleadings would be a much appreciated kick in the ass. **

**You're still reading this? Go on. It's okay now. Read the story.**

**IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII**

**Rie'tta**

Growling at a hybrid I shifted in the command chair. The lowly creature's eyes widened in fright and it scurried off on whatever task it was supposed to be accomplishing. Turning my glare on the bridge I felt bitterness rise in my throat. Half the consoles were unlit hulks, the frozen bodies had been removed, sometimes in pieces because of the effects of liquid nitrogen, but the shadowed forms stood as testimony. **'Damn that human.' **My fist slammed the arm of the chair. The treacherous jumped up ape's deeds were unbearable. What was supposed to be a glorious revolution had fallen to ruins because of a pet that shouldn't have survived its master.

A shiver ran through my form. I could feel the cold leeching the warmth from my skin where I sat. Shortly after Tau'reds had gone to extinguish the bitch-spy all the systems had locked down and shut off, even the life support. Which left me in charge of a lifeless soon to be frozen crypt. I bared my teeth anger and hate warming me for a moment. I'd prostrated myself before the motherless bastard Tau'reds for this. Warmed his bed, fed his ego. Mutual hate of How'lyn, humans, and the high and mighty Cari'an had sustained me. Now what was my reward?

Command of nothing.

Anger frothed at my insides. I punched a command into the chair. Screams started to reverberate the air. The filth was being taken care of at least and their deaths were going to be worse than any a _true _Atavus would suffer. The hybrids' tremors as I leaned back into the chair were as pleasant as the sounds being broadcast to my ears. They knew they were next.

**Da'an**

Skin. Real skin. Not a facsimile to give humans the comfort of the known. My finger traced the back of my hand gently feeling the texture. Even my senses were different. There was an almost imperceptible difference to the world around me. Things were sharper yet muted. It felt so strange. Nevertheless I'd held this solid form of muscle and bone for months. _Uncomfortable in one's own skin. That human saying finally makes sense. _

Staring down into the reflective metal of the tabletop I considered the face I wore. Before as Cari'an I had taken for granted what my appearance was. Now I wanted to scrutinize. It was very different from the beautiful energy that had shaped my being for over two millennia. There was the **hair**. Long black blue waves of it sprouted from my head. Reaching up I took a few dozen strands and rubbed it between my fingers. The sensation was very sensual. Dropping it I decided it was worth keeping. Eyes were almost the same shade as they had been only slightly less luminous and they were physical now instead of representations. The angles and protuberance of the nose were sharper and less wide than the one I'd conjured before for my facade. Drawing back my lips I saw teeth slightly more pointed than human teeth and a pink tongue. I rubbed the tongue back and forth over the top of my mouth. The ensuing tingle was strange and new as everything else. There were subtle tastes to the air. As a Taleon I'd never tasted anything. A smile flitted across my face in remembered pleasure. _'Cheeseburgers are good.'_

I was a true Atavus. Not the mindless beast I had been transformed into before when cut off from the Commonality. The subtle difference was not something most Taleons even knew or acknowledged. This body was like that of our true ancestors before the Kimera saved our race mixing their genes with ours. With the Jaridain who had given his life to combine into this we had connected the parts we had rendered asunder in our individual quests for the superior race either spiritually or physically.

What I had become before was called an Atavus but that was not accurate. The name came more from our haughtiness over what I had come to consider our supposed superiority. To become less than Taleon was considered the ultimate fall. In the old days sometimes as a punishment a Taleon would be exiled from the Commonality and the name Atavus had been the unfortunates' label for the few days as they suffered.

Hesitantly I rose once more. The length of time since Liam had departed was indeterminable to me. No time keeping devices adorned the walls and I had none on my person when I had gone to what I'd assumed was my death. _For what need did I have of a watch when I would be facing the void?_ My body moved yet it seemed out of sync, perceptions both familiar and not making coordination odd.

My past had sprung forth from behind the shield containing it and I had to reconcile what I had become with what I was. I had killed again. With the same bare necessity as last only lacking the mindlessness of those days. Cold-blooded murder was not something Taleons committed. _No, we had our underlings and genetically moderated accomplish it for us. _

The derisive rebuke was born from my disillusionment with my _superior_ race. A disillusionment that started with a strong willed human who would not be bowed. It was not a thought I would have allowed to form though before his death at my own child's hand. It was a death that effected more than thousands ever had. It changed me in a way I still cannot define.

Liam never realized how it wounded to see Boone's essence looking out through eyes that were not his own. Nor how I wished to stop him, to keep him with me once more. Debts and sins to him and his gave me no right to strip him of his vengeance. For as I had taken what he loved I was bound to let him go.

Once more he was revived and this time my feelings had a different edge. It wasn't something I had ever felt before as a Taleon. We had no such concept. Taleons are-were solitary individuals working together as a group. They didn't form partnerships binding their path with another for all time. The closest bonds between them are that of child and parent and even that is distant compared to human's feelings about offspring. It was as if something had taken my previous feelings and magnified them to the power of 10 EE 10. Even that comparison was an approximation. What to do with this feeling I had no notion. It was bewildering and irrational.

Pushing aside the conflict I broke from my stillness and strode to the door intending to turn about and make for the table and chairs in a motion called pacing that I had picked up as a spy here on Earth. Pretending to be a human had opened up the alien world of human quirks to me. Some of the habits I found comforting. Though the intangible reason for that comfort was perplexing.

Hair feathered my back as I strode the few feet I had been confined to. The teasing sensation sent shivers along my spine. My torso was no longer in pain from Tau'reds claws disrupting my energy flow and the easy movement was a relief.

My thoughts of Tau'reds reminded me of my rescue. Sandoval. The uncomfortable flashes I would get looking at the man made sense now as well as the sympathy I felt for that haunted soul. He had looked much worse than my memories of him. _Broken and defeated. Truly haunted. _The impeccably dressed Iceman under the yoke of his CVI that had been the man in my last days as a Taelon was nowhere to be seen.Whatever he had endured at How'lyn's hands must have surpassed even Zo'or's less than gentle ministrations.

When Sandoval had swept down to save me I had been in too much pain from Tau'reds ripping through the energy pathways that served as the equivalent of arteries in a human to really absorb who it was that led me away from my death. Our subsequent capture by the Resistance had not given me the chance to thank him. _My Protector once more. The irony is terrible._

Liam had obviously picked up where he left off and was leading the Resistance again. This was not a surprise. His group's employment of Skrills however was. _Then again… It explains what happened to the Skrill Queen. I always thought Liam's report on that incident was not in keeping with his usual methods. _Another small smile curled my lips.

The child had a strong sense of right and wrong. Through his condemntion ofvarious actions on my part I had learned more of this concept. Boone had been much more quiet in his disappointments due to his CVI. Maybe that was why it took his death to truly reveal to me, that as a species, our lack of such things was great and how much damage that lack could and had caused. My last Protector had no reservations when he thought I had gone over the line. Humanity, sometimes I wonder who taught Ma'el as my last two Protectors taught me that led him to try and protect this planet and its intriguing people from our callous depredations.

Hunger clawed at my nerves. I stopped and put an arm around my stomach. Bar hopping before my death had not seemed appropriate so I had not feed. I'd learned that during a vigorous dance a human wouldn't notice if I drained a little energy from the amount they were already expending. They'd just leave the dance floor feeling a trifle more fatigued than they should. Several partners and I'd be feed enough with human food to supplement me.

Now I was regretting my actions. No sane Resistance member was going to let me feed off him or her. Not even with my reassurances that I'd stop. While starvation was almost preferable to the manner of death Tau'reds would have used the prospect was not something I imagined with relish. _Liam won't let that happen. _I sternly told myself. And it was probably true.

When I changed my tactics in face of my increasing doubts over our right to use other races as markers in our war with the Jaridains I lost much stature. Change was not an easy or well-accepted thing with my people. With that loss of standing went the contact within the Commonality. My loneliness, which I saw reflected in him, prompted me to reach out and become closer to Liam than I might have if not for that. He became more my child than Zo'or who as the last of us born was taken from me almost directly after I gave birth. Remorse and honesty made me admit however that some of the deepest betrayals in Liam's life came from me. From things I thought were necessary but maybe were just the easiest solution. _I can't say that I'd blame him if he decided to let me starve. _

Staring at the mirror that served as a wall for this small room I couldn't help but relive the damage I'd done to one I'd considered my child in intent if not substance. My other children had died over time, the first at the hands of a Jaridain connected to an energy cannon. Like so many Taelons I had continued on whilst my line had embraced the void. What made us cling to this existence when we knew there was no future? It would have been far better for us to embrace the void and avoid the decimation of so many other innocent species in our futile quest to survive. Logically we should have just let go, yet we would not. We did everything imaginable to continue. Arrogance and fear stayed our resolve in those misspent centuries.

Had the circumstances changed much? What reason did I have for clinging now? My current species was even more deadly to sentient life. A parasite living off those with real futures, what was my justification for continuing? Surely Liam would find things much easier if he did not have to battle with his feelings and honor over the simplicity of ending it with a blast.

Boone. Revenge for the death of his wife could salve some of the ache in the man's heart. My feelings for him, in all their strangeness, urged me to try and make him happy. Maybe my death would accomplish that in a way my life would not.

_I'm tired. So tired of being at odds with the will of the universe and those I care about. Maybe its time to give up. _I'd been ready to die for the people that had come to trust me as a spy why not die for those who had served me with all their ability and loyalty yet had been so wronged by me?

If I had still been Taleon fulfilling my depressive musing would have been a matter of thought. _Being a being composed of energy did have its advantages. _I quirked a morbid smile at my reflection.


End file.
